And God spake to celebrity chef Jamie Oliver through a beam of heavenly light, saying "Jamie, Jamie."
"Here I am, Lord."
"Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and proclaim against it; for their wickedness is come up before me."
"Ahh… I think you've got the wrong guy. I'm supposed to do a cooking segment with Letterman."
(Sound of shuffling papers)
"Sorry, you're right. I was looking at the wrong paper. This is old; this shouldn't even be in here."
"Okay, good. So, I should go now."
"See you, Jamie. Say hi to Dave for me."
The heavenly beam of light shut off, and Jamie went inside. And God returned to the office and proclaimed against the incompetence of the staff.