"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Dwight Yoakam

CelebriGum is honored to participate in an unusual cross-promotion with two other specialty websites!

In addition to appearing on CelebriGum, this photo of Dwight Yoakam is also currently featured on CelebriBoltCutters and BoltCuttersGum.  

These two unique sites post mediocre photos and light-hearted commentary about celebrities with bolt cutters or bolt cutters with old gum.  Continuing doggedly week in and week out, month after month, year after year, the folks who run these sites claim they're driven by a gleeful sense of long-term absurdity and exquisite pointlessness.

Sounds stupid to me, but hey, whatever makes you guys happy.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Dwyane Wade

The partially visible man at the top of the frame is in a once in a lifetime position.

He's equidistant from Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat basketball star, and Duane Reade, a New York chain of drugstores with a location at 8th Avenue and 53rd Street.

As the NFL replacement refs would say, "Home run!"

Speaking of which, an aside to the gum: accept my fair and generous offer regarding your raise and your defined-benefit pension plan, or I'll start using the replacement gum that's visible on the window frame.  What could go wrong?

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Two Generations of Paul Teutuls

This is one of my favorite photos of the past few months.  Details that please me:

--the watchful attitude of American Chopper star Paul Teutul, Jr.  

--the guy on the bike, and the hair of the guy on the bike

--the four truck guys, including the one who's taking a picture with his phone

--the photographers, all of whom are professionals with big cameras except for the pedestrian in the red cap who's taking a photo with his phone

The photo of patriarch Paul Teutul, Sr. may not be as good, but it's notable for:

--the most tattoos on any CelebriGum subject other than CBS Evening News anchor Scott Pelley

--the tattoo of CBS Evening News anchor Scott Pelley

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Sharon Osbourne

My high school age daughter just became the first one in the family to get an iPhone.  As she experimented with Siri, it occurred to me that Apple's chatty personal assistant might add a unique perspective to CelebriGum.

Here's Sharon Osbourne, reality show personality and recently departed America's Got Talent judge.

Here are my questions, along with what Siri thought I said, and her replies.

"Do you know who Sharon Osbourne is?"
(interpreted as "Do you know for sharing eyes boilers?")
"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Do you like CelebriGum?"
(interpreted as "Do you like the weather, Gomez?")
"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Are you familiar with CelebriGum?"
(interpreted as "Are you familiar with the library?")
"I can't answer that."

"What are your favorite websites involving old gum and photos of celebrities?"
(interpreted as "What are your favorite websites involving all drama and photos of celebrities?" 
"Would you like me to search for websites involving all drama and photos of celebrities?"

"Do you think a photo of Sharon Osbourne with old gum would be a good idea?"
(interpreted as "Do you think before Yorkshire and I was born with all gone would be a good idea?")
"It's your opinion that counts."

"Do you have a sense of humor?"
"I can't answer that."

Okay, we have a ways to go.  But remember, Siri is still in beta.  I'll be working closely with Apple in the coming months to ensure that future versions of Siri have a greater understanding of CelebriGum.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Michael Weatherly

Make no mistake, CelebriGum's reach is global.  I have the ability to see where hits are coming from, and while the majority are from the U.S., Canada, the U.K. and Europe, and Australia, this site also gets visitors from the Far East, Africa, South America, the Middle East, and other exotic locales.

A couple days ago I noticed that someone in Bangalore, India had taken a look at CelebriGum.  I thought I'd honor this far-flung mystery visitor by posting this entry about "NCIS" star Michael Weatherly in Hindi.

माइकल Weatherly स्वर्गीय दिखाएँ का दौरा करने के लिए NCIS, अमेरिका के सबसे लोकप्रिय टेलीविजन कार्यक्रमों में से एक को बढ़ावा देने के. टोनी DiNozzo के रूप में, माइकल सेना के भीतर आतंकवादी भूखंडों और अपराधों की जांच करता है. शायद वह कैसे गोंद का टुकड़ा है कि पांच साल के लिए खिड़की के कगार पर बनी हुई है की जाँच करनी चाहिए! यह एक असली रहस्य है! आप में से जो लोग वास्तव में अंग्रेजी में यह सब वापस अनुवाद परेशान के लिए, मुझे आशा है कि यह इसके लायक था!

Wow, nice job, Google Translate.  Let's see how it does translating my comments into Kannada, the other main language spoken in Bangalore.  Kannada is one of the options, so it should work.

ಮೈಕೆಲ್ ವೆದರ್ಲಿ NCIS, ಅಮೆರಿಕದ ಅತ್ಯಂತ ಜನಪ್ರಿಯ ದೂರದರ್ಶನ ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ರಮಗಳ ಒಂದು ಉತ್ತೇಜಿಸಲು ಲೇಟ್ ಶೋ ಭೇಟಿ. ಟೋನಿ DiNozzo ಮಾಹಿತಿ, ಮೈಕೆಲ್ ಮಿಲಿಟರಿ ಒಳಗೆ ಭಯೋತ್ಪಾದಕ ಪ್ಲಾಟ್ಗಳು ಮತ್ತು ಅಪರಾಧಗಳ ತನಿಖೆ. ಬಹುಶಃ ಅವರು ಗಮ್ ಆ ತುಂಡು ಐದು ವರ್ಷಗಳ ವಿಂಡೋ ಕಟ್ಟು ಮೇಲೆ ಉಳಿದಿದೆ ಎಂಬುದನ್ನು ತನಿಖೆ ಮಾಡಬೇಕು! ಇದು ನಿಜವಾದ ವಿಸ್ಮಯ! ವಾಸ್ತವವಾಗಿ ಇಂಗ್ಲೀಷ್ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಈ ಹಿಂದೆ ಭಾಷಾಂತರಿಸಲು ತೊಂದರೆಯಾಗಿತ್ತು ಯಾರು ನೀವು ಆ ನಾನು ಅದು ಬೆಲೆಗಿಂತ ಭಾವಿಸುತ್ತೇವೆ!

I'm no linguist, but I don't think that's right.  Though Kannada is one of the language options on Google Translate, apparently they were hoping nobody would actually choose it.  

Although if it is right, wow, what an incredibly easy, and incredibly difficult, language.

The tenth season of NCIS starts Tuesday, September 25th, on CBS.  Yeah, like it needs any help from me.

UPDATE:  I just noticed that depending on what kind of browser or computer you use to view CelebriGum, you might actually see Kannada, or a long string of little rectangles.  When I wrote the entry on my MacBook Pro, all I was getting out of Google Translate for Kannada was little rectangles.  Hence my dismissive remarks.  Maybe you're seeing the real language if you're using Firefox?

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

High Security For President Obama

Twice I've been unable to take a photo of First Lady Michelle Obama with the gum, due to security restrictions around the Ed Sullivan Theater.

The President gets an even higher level of protection.  I went to work Tuesday knowing that the Secret Service would have extraordinary security measures in place.

The President's motorcade got to come down 53rd Street the wrong way.  Here are a couple of the lead vehicles that blew through the Presidential Talk Show Secrecy Tent.  Note that I'm taking pictures through a closed window -- the last thing I need is trouble with snipers.

 It's the President!  No!  It's the decoy limo, suckers!

 The real Presidential limo.  Probably.

The actual arrival and departure were hidden from view.  So, no, I didn't get to take a picture of President Obama. 

But after the President left, I did notice something amazing. The Secret Service had recruited a new temporary agent.  


Monday, September 17, 2012

Joel McHale

The latest Zogby poll results are in, and they're intriguing:

48% prefer "Joel McHale Pointing"

45% prefer "Joel McHale Running"

7% undecided

Margin of error: +/- 3%

The Zogby people must be really sick of asking people about politics.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Cobie Smulders

It's September, and that means it's time to get excited about the return of your favorite network television shows!  

Here's Cobie Smulders of "How I Met Your Mother," which makes its season premiere September 24th at 8, 7 Central, on CBS!

September is also "Eat Near A Celebrity Month," as stagehand Tommy O'Brien reminds us.  Thanks, Tommy!  Bon appetit!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Caroline Kennedy

It may seem odd that CelebriGum is only just now posting this photo of Caroline Kennedy taken in May 2011.

Rest assured, it's pure coincidence that the photo is appearing the same week that the Kennedy Center named Dave Letterman as one of its 2012 honorees.  There was absolutely no quid pro quo.

Did the Kennedy Center quietly suggest that Mr. Letterman's chances would be improved if Ms. Kennedy were to be featured on the world's top celebrity and old gum photo site?  Of course not!  What kind of hardened cynic could even imagine such a absurd scenario?

There's also no truth to the outlandish rumor that I had to include this second photo in order to get Mr. Letterman a $10 credit at the Kennedy Center snack bar.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

CelebriGum Newlyweds!

Congratulations to Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds!  It's the first CelebriGum marriage!

Their wedding this past weekend in South Carolina was the culmination of a fairytale romance that began last December at the annual CelebriGum Celebrity Reception.  Held in the Grand Ballroom of 1 CelebriGum Plaza, it's a chance for the year's CelebriGum subjects to mingle, enjoy complimentary hors d'oeuvres, and swap memories of favorite CelebriGum entries. 

I had the pleasure of introducing Blake and Ryan, and I could tell that they were hitting it off.  Weeks later, I was pleased to hear that they were dating, and as winter turned to spring both Blake and Ryan confided to me, "I think this might be the real deal."

I deeply regretted missing the wedding, which I'm told had a hilarious yet tasteful old gum theme.  I had a prior commitment: I was accepting the Dentyne Image Award at the Global Gum Infotainment Symposium in Bern, Switzerland.  However, I sent my well wishes in a letter which was read aloud at the reception by Bette Midler. (Thanks, Bette!  Hope to photograph you with the gum soon!)   

If I've accomplished nothing else with this silly project, at least I've helped two soulmates find each other.  Blake and Ryan, may your love be as long-lasting as old gum on a window ledge.

Sunday, September 9, 2012


Here we see will.i.am, accompanied by assistants will.he.is, will.you.are, and la?rr?y, leaving the Late Show in a troubled mood.

Shortly before his performance, he realized his second period was missing, and he had to go on with an emergency comma in its place.  (The gum was offered but declined.)  Though the song was well-received, he didn't feel he did his best work as will.i,am.

Happily, the missing punctuation was located a short time later.  It was in the Lost & Found Box at the nearby e.e. cummings museum, which the entourage had visited earlier in the day.  

"I remember bumping into la?rr?y in one of the galleries.  That must have been when it popped out," said a relieved will.i.am.  "There are so many examples of random punctuation and odd grammar there that I didn't even notice the stray period rolling across the floor."

Crisis resolved, will.i.am celebrated by visiting the museum gift shop and buying everyone in sight an expensive semi-colon.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Jennifer Garner

Notes For Jennifer Garner Entry

--something referencing her recent movie about the kid who's a shrub (??)

--could do something with the fact that she's married to Ben Affleck or Ben Bernanke    (can never remember which one -- look up)

--In the second photo, there's the guy with the green t-shirt with his back to her.  Come up with something funny about green t-shirts?  (He's not taking a leak on the car, is he?  Zoom in/check)

--Do something stupid to the gum like put James Garner's face on it (are they even related?) (does it even matter?)









Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Kelsey Grammer

Kelsey smiles for the camera as he's photographed by an employee of the red-hot website, celebrinogum.com.

CelebriNoGum, specializing in so-so photos of celebrities outside the Late Show with no lumps of old gum anywhere in the picture, was recently ranked the 9th most popular site on the internet.  With millions of loyal followers and revenues in the billions of dollars, celebrinogum.com is poised to overtake Google as the most visited website by mid-2014, according to analysts.

What am I doing wrong?

It's the gum, isn't it?


Monday, September 3, 2012

Amy Adams

CelebriGum multitasking!

Holding the camera out the window with my left hand, while holding my phone with my right hand and calling in a videotape change to the edit room.  Firing off shots without looking at the viewfinder, trusting that my years of practice will carry me through.

Not bad.  We can work with that.  I generally crop the photos anyway.

FYI, I did the cropping with my left hand while pretending to talk into a phone held by my right hand, just to prove that I could.

Also, I'm typing this with my feet.  With my hands I'm simultaneously writing a piece for the October issue of Tedious Show-Off Magazine.  Watch for it!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Farewell To The Summer 2012 Interns

Summer 2012 saw another fine crop of Late Show interns.  Julia Lewis spent a lot of time in the hallway by the special window, and gallantly snapped a few CelebriGum shots when I was busy doing my actual job.

Julia's area of strength seems to be men with a certain kind of name:

Adam Sandler

Andy Samberg

If Aaron Sorkin had been on the show, I believe she would have gotten a good shot of him.  Unfortunately, Aaron was not a Late Show guest, but Jeff Daniels was.

Hmm, something's missing there.  Don't worry, Julia, you did great for a rookie!

I regret that I forgot to take a photo of Julia before her semester ended.  So I'm substituting a photo of Julia Roberts.

From this angle they could be sisters.