"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Monday, December 31, 2012

Bradley Cooper

Actor and 2011's "Sexiest Man Alive" Bradley Cooper arrives at the Ed Sullivan Theater in preparation for hosting The Rockin' CelebriGum New Rockin' Year's Rockin' Eve Special.

Broadcast live on GUM TV (check your local listings), it's a star-studded extravaganza welcoming 2013, with the throngs on 53rd Street entertained by "The Doublemint Twins" and "Bazooka Joe" (actually out-of-work actors in large, embarrassing costumes), as well as great celebrity guests like…

Anne Hathaway!
(appearing courtesy of CelebriGum's Anne Hathaway Year-End Bonus Photo Event)

…and George Clooney!
(appearing courtesy of female CelebriGum fans getting tired of all the Anne Hathaway bonus photos and demanding more hunkiness)

Join the excitement as Bradley counts down to midnight, when the 1,200 pound Waterford crystal replica of the gum, illuminated by 10,000 computerized LED lights, is dropped from the enormous simulated window ledge high above 53rd Street, ushering in the New Year!

Happy 2013 from all of us at CelebriGum!  Okay, it's just me.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Katie Holmes

 Seconds away from disaster!

Each year, several thousand cyclists are seriously injured when, distracted by nearby celebrities, they look away from the road and crash into parked vehicles.

Since these cyclists aren't celebrities, their suffering is of no consequence.  However, treating their injuries is a drag on our overburdened healthcare system.

Lesson: cyclists should dismount and walk their bikes while staring at celebrities.


Here's your second-to-last installment of the Anne Hathaway Year-End Bonus Photo Event.

Each year, dozens of construction workers are injured when, distracted by nearby celebrities, they walk into orange barrels.  

Lesson: shit happens.  Also, pedestrians should dismount from their legs while staring at celebrities.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Matt Damon

Celebrities brighten our lives in so many ways.  And many celebrities, like Matt Damon, quietly work to brighten the lives of fellow stars who are struggling.  

Matt gives away his old suits, shirts, and shoes through Celebrity Dress For Success, an acclaimed program that helps down-and-out celebrities look their best. 

Although Matt is too modest to discuss his charitable work, friends confirm that he also provides free counseling to stars trying to rebuild their lives after an unsuccessful movie, embarrassing Twitter gaffe, or other setback.

On this particular day, Matt wasn't even a guest on the Late Show.  He stopped by the Ed Sullivan Theater to deliver clothes and a pep talk to Adam Sandler, who's been living in the boiler room since the release of last summer's "That's My Boy."  With the help of selfless friends like Matt, perhaps Adam will get back on his feet in 2013. 


Provided to you as part of the Anne Hathaway Year-End Bonus Photo Event (another acclaimed charity):

A puzzled Anne Hathaway tries on one of Matt Damon's old coats.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas from CelebriGum

There's no celebrity more beloved than Santa!

And we had ten of them!

Here's another celebrity who cuts a festive figure in red.  It's the latest installment of the Anne Hathaway Year-End Bonus Photo Event.


Now Hathaway!  Hathaway!  Hathaway all!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Tom Cruise

Ah, crap -- didn't prepare any post-12/21 entries because I assumed the world was ending.  Okay, I'll just quickly come up with something here... 

Tom Cruise, something about gum and Tom Cruise... uh, "Gumission Impossible"… meh… "Top Gum"… I guess…

"Sooty Little Gray Rock of Ages"… pathetic, I know.  But it's not my fault.  I was told Friday was Doomsday.  Clearly, Mayan incompetence is to blame.

Meanwhile, as explained in the December 15th entry, here's your Anne Hathaway 


Nice.  But be warned, Mayans: my own Long Count calendar isn't going to forget this apocalypse screw-up.  If the Late Show ever books one of your gods, such as Kukulkan, the winged serpent deity, or Zipacna, demonic personification of the earth's crust, you can forget about me taking any gum pictures of them. 

Friday, December 21, 2012

Farewell to the Autumn 2012 Interns

As another semester draws to close, it's time once again to salute those Late Show interns who, while stationed in the hallway outside Dave's dressing room, ended up getting sucked into the CelebriGum vortex.

Samara stepped in several times when I was away from the window.

Amanda Seyfried.

A charming soft-focus shot of Katie Holmes.

Maroon 5 frontman and "The Voice" coach Adam Levine.  I think this one is excellent.

Here's Samara taking pictures of Martin Freeman for her roommate.  She decided to leave the gum out of these shots.  Well, it takes all kinds.

The other intern who hung out near the CelebriGum window was Carly.  She never took any gum photos, but one day I discovered that she had engaged in Unattended Camera Hooliganism:

Thanks for your indulgence, Samara and Carly!  I enjoyed our time together!


And now, as promised previously, your Anne Hathaway Year-End Bonus Photo Event bonus photo:

That was the bonus photo promised a few entries ago as part of the Anne Hathaway Year-End Bonus Photo Event.

Very proud that I managed to use the phrase "bonus photo" five times.  

Six.  That last one was a bonus.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Martin Freeman

A couple highlights from the nearly three hour film epic, "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Past Some Pipes and Barricades and Stuff." 

 Halfway through the first hour.

A climactic moment at the two hour 40 minute mark.

Director Peter Jackson has once again conjured an amazing viewing experience!  Look how realistic those CGI "paparazzi" creatures are!  And the eerie, otherworldly setting of Midtown Earth… so richly imagined, so masterfully executed.  A true visual feast!

Yes, okay, fine.  Now, as part of the ongoing Anne Hathaway Year-End Bonus Photo Event, here's your


Not bad for a picture that doesn't have any pipes or barricades.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Johnny Manziel

It's time to play "What's In The Box?"

Hint: Johnny Manziel, the young man about to get out of the SUV, is this year's Heisman Trophy winner.

So, the box must contain either the Heisman Trophy, or the mummified head of legendary football coach John Heisman.

Have you made your guess?

Whew, that could have been unpleasant.


And now, as promised in the previous entry, here's your bonus photo of Anne Hathaway.  I took so many nice shots of her that I'll be including outtakes in every entry through the end of the year.

So with this entry, you win even if you're not a sports fan.  If you're a fan of mummified heads, though, I can't help you.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Anne Hathaway

CelebriGum is overstocked, and that means amazing deals for YOU!  Announcing the Anne Hathaway Year-End Bonus Photo Event!

I took a lot of pictures of Anne Hathaway.  50, in fact.  Here are two of my favorites.

Ordinarily I'd just put up one or two bonus photos on the CelebriGum Facebook page, but I have so many winners this time that I'm going to add an Anne Hathaway bonus photo to every CelebriGum entry through the end of the year!

Hell, if you want an outtake of your very own, email me and I'll send you one!

CelebriGum: giving the celebrity gum photo consumer more choices and better value.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Mick Jagger

We're not here to pay tribute to Mick Jagger as the front man of one of the top rock bands of all time.  We're not here to praise Mick Jagger as a comedy performer (though he did do a terrific job with the Top Ten List).  

We're here to appreciate Mick Jagger, the greatest crowd acknowledger CelebriGum has ever seen.

The calm before the storm, with only the flash of red scarf giving a clue to the intensity of what's coming.

Wow!  Impressive opening salvo!  Yes, plenty of celebrities wave.  But look at that angle, that extension!  That's a big hand, and Mick knows how to deploy it.

 Start of the paparazzi pointing sequence.  You there!  I'm indicating you!

And you!  Now I'm pointing at you!  I can point at any of you!

Another wave.  Again, not reinventing the wheel, but the crisp form and the classically proportioned finger-spread are masterful.

The exit.  Still waving after his high-energy Top Ten presentation!  I'm a much younger man, but even I had trouble keeping up with Mick: I almost didn't get the gum in this shot.

Thanks, Mick.  I got satisfaction.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Bill Murray

Bill Murray is a tough CelebriGum subject.  He tends to avoid the stage door, and until recently the only time I got him was when he and Dave were kicking field goals.

Recently I got lucky again.  Bill made an unusual entrance that involved an apparent extra-legal rendition.  A black SUV pulled up, tough guys got out, hauled a bound and hooded Bill out of the back, and roughly deposited him in the theater.  The action unfolded on 53rd Street, and CelebriGum had a good view.

 With the bit concluded, Bill paused by the stage door, leading to the first-ever…

…CelebriGum photo simultaneously showing the celebrity from above and at street level!  

If the Mayan apocalypse hits in a few days, at least we can die satisfied that we reached this milestone.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

One Direction

What a week for the Late Show, and for the gum!  We started with Led Zeppelin on Monday, and finished out on Friday with the five member British singing group beloved by legions of teenage girls.  Here's the deal: a few mediocre photos, then a story and an awesome photo at the end.

 One of the Unidirectionals arriving.

Another one.  I don't know who's who.  But I'm not supposed to, because I'm a 47 year old man.

Leaving.  53rd Street was blocked off, and there were throngs of screaming teenage girls behind barriers.  In the years ahead, many of them will suffer from tinnitus.  

Note the "1 D Get Naked" sign.  The request was not honored.

Okay, here's the story.

After the group came in, they took an elevator up to their fifth floor dressing room.  However, for some reason the elevator stopped on the second floor and the door opened right next to me.  I'm standing there looking at one of the One Direction guys waving his arms and singing "Party in the lift!  Party in the lift!"  As the doors close, I loudly correct him: "It's an elevator!"

So much for the U.S.-Great Britain "special relationship." 

And now, the awesome photo.  As is often the case with my better photos, luck and/or incompetence were involved.

Again, I have no idea which one that is with the "Party in the lift"-style upraised arms.  Marlon?  Tito?  Jermaine?  You girls figure it out. 

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Jessica Biel

The previous entry, Led Zeppelin, may have been the longest entry in the history of CelebriGum.  Now let's go to the other extreme.

Hey, woman in the street -- maybe try the ladder?

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Led Zeppelin

Led Zeppelin!  Even though they were visiting the Late Show just to talk, not to play, the ghost of my 17 year old self was excited.  Because after all, Led Zep Rules.

So.  Here they are.

Robert Plant:

Robert Plant is not in this picture.  I reflexively snapped a couple photos when I heard fans call "Robert!  Robert!"  However, he had exited the theater via another door.  He dashed into his SUV before I could spot him.

Robert Plant's SUV driving away.  A fan yelled, "Thank you, Robert!"  Perhaps the guy was referencing a favorite Zeppelin song, "Thank You," side one track four on 1969's "Led Zeppelin II," but there's a strong possibility the guy was being sarcastic.

John Paul Jones:

Led Zeppelin's bass player and keyboardist exited through the expected doorway, allowing paparazzi to get some "Jonesy" photos.  

However, this fan hoping for an autograph on his copy of "Led Zeppelin II" was disappointed.  It's perhaps worth noting that in addition to "Thank You," "Led Zeppelin II" also includes the classic "Heartbreaker."

Jimmy Page:

The legendary guitarist, his white hair pulled back in a ponytail, emerges from the stage door.

The "Led Zeppelin II" album guy is joined by an equally hopeful "Physical Graffiti" album owner.  It's perhaps worth noting that the "Physical Graffiti" album includes "Ten Years Gone" and "Trampled Underfoot." 

The fans must have realized that autographs were a long shot.  It's Led Zeppelin, dammit, and when you're Led Zeppelin, you have to "Ramble On" and go "Over The Hills and Far Away" ...oh, forget it. 

One more Jimmy Page photo, because we can't assume he'll ever come back to the Late Show.

For Presidents Day, I may recycle this one as a CelebriGum simulation of George Washington.

And finally, John Bonham:

Mr. Bonham, Led Zeppelin's drummer, passed away in 1980.  To be honest, I had very little in the way of expectations here.

Go home, fellas.  It's all over.  John Bonham is not coming out.  

So there's your Led Zeppelin, still turning out the fans decades later.  Friday's musical guest is the British boy band One Direction.  Will fans still be clamoring for their autographs forty years from now?

All I can predict about the year 2052 is that the gum will probably still be on the ledge.