"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

James Franco

Witness the amazing power of science!

Here's James Franco on March 28th.

And here he is on August 1st.

Using advanced computer algorithms, we can now derive a CelebriGum photo depicting an averaged James Franco outside the Late Show halfway between those two dates:

Unfortunately there was no show on Monday, May 30th.  It was a Late Show vacation week.  So James Franco would not have been there.

Thanks for nothing, science!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Ray Romano

"Men Of A Certain Age": cancelled, to the chagrin of its devoted fans.

"Gum Of A Certain Age": renewed!  Yes, the gum survived the hurricane, to the relief of its devoted fans!

I checked on it this morning when I got to the office.  The gum has survived blizzards, ice storms, blazing heat, lightning storms, an earthquake, fair weather with moderate temperatures, and now a hurricane. (Okay, it was probably a tropical storm.)  I don't think anything short of a volcanic tornasteroid will knock it off the ledge.

The Weather Channel says there's a volcanic tornasteroid forming in the south Atlantic, but it's currently projected to veer off to the east.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Connie Britton

"Friday Night Lights" star Connie Britton has taken to heart the old sailors' adage, "Purple dress, CelebriGum success."  I don't know why old-time sailors were concerned with CelebriGum and the outfits of celebrities when they should have been paying attention to… their, uh… sailor ship… on the ocean water... 

I'm sorry, I'm a bit distracted right now.  A hurricane is bearing down on New York and I'm concerned about the gum.  It's survived a lot of nasty weather in the year and a half since I first noticed it, but a hurricane may be the ultimate test.

Connie, I apologize for letting the weather worries take over your entry.  I got several nice pictures of you with the gum.  Here are a couple more.

Be safe, Connie, other celebrities, Eastern Seaboard, and gum.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Gallery of Out-Of-Focus Celebrities

The little point-and-shoot camera really does a good job.  And it fits in my pocket, which is important.  But in the heat of the moment, with a celebrity in motion and me frantically trying to line up a shot, it can get confused and focus on the gum rather than the celebrity.

A slightly blurry Jim Carrey marches.

A soft-focus Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (from the "Transformers" movie, remember?) checks the SUV for her lost shirt.

Kevin James, posing for a snapshot that could actually be in focus.

"Blurry Woman" Julia Roberts.

That extremely handsome fuzzy area across the street is Tom Felton from the "Harry Potter" movies, signing autographs.

Regis Philbin, holder of the Guinness World Record for most hours spent in front of an out-of-focus camera.

I make no apologies for these photos.  Because as we've learned over the past year from CelebriGum, the gum is the ultimate celebrity.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Colin Farrell

I briefly went back to using my old cell phone camera:

a. as a fond tribute to the rough-and-tumble early days of CelebriGum

b. to evoke the blurry chaos of showbiz excitement while still capturing Mr. Farrell's distinctive spiky hair

c. because leading up to that day's show, things were so hectic that I accidentally left my "good" camera on my desk

Correct answer: c.

You nice people shouldn't suffer due to my mistake.  Here's a CelebriGum Simulebrity Faux-tograph.

If we're going to fake it, why not double our pleasure, double our fun!

Wow.  My brain has to go lie down.  I'll try not to forget my real camera again.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Cat Deeley

Cat Deeley is one of the most famous television personalities in Britain.  She's also well-known in the U.S. as the host of "So You Think You Can Dance."

But when I hear the name "Cat Deeley," a relay in my brain clicks over and I think of former Boston Bruins star Cam Neely.

Cam Neely

I think you can see where this is going.

Cam Neely in full uniform on 53rd Street with the gum in the foreground.  This is why Al Gore invented the internet!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Regis Philbin

He holds the Guinness World Record for most hours spent in front of a television camera.  Even when he's not a guest, he drops by the Late Show to help out with the comedy.  Afterwards, he shmoozes on the sidewalk.  Regis may actually be the hardest working man in show business.

But Regis, it might be time for a little vacation.  The relentless schedule seems to have disoriented you.

  When it's time to go home, you hail a cab, not a food cart.  

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Tom Felton

According to a 13 year old girl I know, Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy from the "Harry Potter" films) is "so hot."

So, while I'm pleased with this as a CelebriGum photo, with the bold light and shadow, and the gummy absurdity and weirdness, I regret not getting Tom's hot face.

As a bonus for Tom Felton fans, here's a photo of Tom taken from the reverse angle by one of the paparazzi:

And as a bonus for you gum fans, here's a photo of the gum from the reverse angle: 

So hot.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Dianna Agron

A special birthday present for one of CelebriGum's biggest fans:

Here's your favorite "Glee" star Dianna Agron with the gum, Fidel!  Happy 85th birthday!  Thanks for all the support over the past year!

(Note: CelebriGum does not condone the repressive policies of Mr. Castro's communist regime; he's just a friend on a personal level.)

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Steve Carell

Paparazzi 1: "We're gonna get some great shots of television and film star Steve Carell!"

Paparazzi 2: "Yeah . . . though it occurs to me, our presence clutters up what could otherwise be a striking CelebriGum picture."

Paparazzi 3: "You're right!  The stark geometry of the scaffolding shadows and the grid of the sidewalk will be much more impressive if we clear the area!"

Paparazzi 4: "We can get photos of Steve Carell anytime!  Come on, fellas, let's move out of the shot so it'll seem slightly profound."

Thanks, guys.  I owe you one.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Henry Winkler

As he arrived at the Late Show, beloved actor and author Henry Winkler gave an impromptu master class on the art of Henry Winkler gestures:

Gesture 1: "Hello over there!  I'm Henry Winkler!"

Gesture 2: "You there!  You are not Henry Winkler!"

           Gesture 3: "Meet my invisible marionette puppet, also named Henry Winkler!"

Gesture 4: "Come no closer to Henry Winkler!" (subtle variation of Gesture 1, for advanced students only)

Gesture 5: "Eh, what can I say?  I'm sharing the spotlight with a piece of dirty old gum.  Showbiz is a harsh mistress!"

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Dave & Harrison Ford

Big stars riding horses in midtown!  Exciting!

But I had to reassure the gum, "No matter what the horses do, you'll always be 53rd Street's favorite blob of filth."

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Courteney Cox

I'm a pretty good speller, but I almost flubbed this one.  I titled this entry "Courtney Cox."  But something didn't look right.

Was there a letter missing somewhere?  I tried "Courtneye."  "Coeurtney." "Courtiney."

To make a surprisingly long story short, the correct spelling is Courteney.  Now I'm going to be panicky about vowels.

That minor trauma aside, I must say that it's a nicely enigmatic picture of Courteney with the guam.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Carmelo Anthony, plus a bonus mystery celebrity!

Thank you, Knicks star Carmelo Anthony, for graciously taking the time to autograph a fan's pumpkin.

And thank you, Carmelo, for having a car that's not black.  After more than a year of CelebriGum photos, I'm pretty sick of the endless parade of black cars and black SUV's.

Bonus!  Can you identify this famous former basketball player?

Okay, there's not much to go on.  This should help.

Let's zoom in on that black Lincoln Navigator.  Lovely vehicle, by the way.

That's right, it's Meadowlar Lemon!  From the Harle Globetrotte!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Julianne Moore

Here's a delightfully strange picture.

Is Julianne protecting herself from falling masonry?  Is she trying to block the CIA's mind control rays?

Both are good ideas.  But as it happens, she had just been for a ride on 53rd Street with rally car driver Tanner Foust.

Here's the CelebriGum video of Tanner doing donuts with Julianne in the passenger seat.

Professional driver.  Closed course.  Professional gum.  Do not attempt.  

Monday, August 1, 2011

Patrick Dempsey

Patrick Dempsey action shot!

What's that, ladies?  You want more photos of handsome Patrick Dempsey?  Okay.

Patrick Dempsey milder action shot!

More?  Really?

Patrick Dempsey again!

Another one?  I'm afraid we're starting to run low.  But all right...

Patrick Dempsey behind a mail truck!

CelebriGum: We Deliver For You.