"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Friday, September 30, 2011

Alec Baldwin

Finally!  After missing him several times in the past year, and resorting to a cheesy simulation, I got Alec at last.

And if you happened to see that night's Late Show, you may remember the special segment on 53rd Street.

In the next entry we'll see Alec play football with Dave and "53rd Street Joe" Namath.  You and the gum have excellent 50 yard line seats.

For now, here's Alec warming up.  WARNING: Intense action sequences may be too exciting for sensitive viewers.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Women Who Judge Singing Competition Shows

It's up to you, America*!  Who do YOU think should win Singing Competition Voice Factor Judge Idol?  Here are our two finalists:

Christina Aguilera!  She has a hat!

Paula Abdul!  While she doesn't have a hat herself, she's at ease talking to hat wearers!

Vote here and on the CelebriGum Facebook page!  

Sure, vote in both places!  Vote as often as you wish!  Hidden charges and fees may apply.

Okay, foreigners, you can vote too.  CelebriGum wants to help the U.S. export democracy.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Chris Rock

I've got a lot of respect for Chris.  As he was getting out of his limo, he looked up at the ledge and said, "No umbrella for the gum?  Then $@&# it, no umbrella for me."

His assistant said "Gum?  What are you talking about?"

Chris: "You don't know about CelebriGum?  Then $@&# it, no umbrella for you either."

NOTE: CelebriGum is a family-oriented gum-and-celebrity website.  We request that celebrities keep the use of keyboard symbols to a minimum.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Trampoline Guy, Plus SLOTUS

Stunts and demonstrations on 53rd Street always make for interesting gum photo-ops.  Here's professional trampolinist Sean Kennedy.

I love the guy in the car watching.

But is Sean Kennedy enough of a celebrity?  Just to make sure this entry has your Recommended Daily Allowance of fame, here's a guest who appeared in the same show: Second Lady of the United States, Dr. Jill Biden!

The brilliant Dr. Biden is a passionate advocate for important causes.

But this is a silly website, so let's end on the trampoline.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Paul Rudd

Paul Rudd is a very popular film star, but even for him, life is full of indignities.

While he was across the street signing autographs, I actually heard a woman shriek "You're so good-looking!"

I thought, "How rude to yell that to me when Mr. Rudd is right there.  He must feel so inadequate."

Please enjoy some enlarged Paul Rudd handsomeness, including the extra handsomeness in the reflection:

Sorry, no extra handsomeness of me.  You couldn't handle it.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Julianna Margulies

Congratulations to Julianna on the Emmy win!

And now, CelebriGum welcomes back its favorite fictional gasbag art critic, J. Arlen Parkwood, to give his high-falutin' review of the Julianna Margulies photo:

"A CelebriGum photo particularly rich in visual symbolism, echoed themes, and evocative contradictions.  First, we're invited to consider the gum itself, elevated to prominence above the mundane gum spots on the sidewalk--a subtle commentary on our society's celebrity culture. 

Notice how the pattern in Ms. Margulies' skirt is echoed in the texture of the reflected skyscraper, and the red of the taillights is picked up by the red of the painted markings on the sidewalk.  The red arrow brusquely instructs Julianna how to proceed with her carefully regimented celebrity life, yet she gazes curiously in the other direction.  And just as the gum (bubblegum?) is alone on its ledge, she too is alone in her bubble of fame.  

We look down to the street, but thanks to the car's reflective surface, we simultaneously look up into the sky, a reminder of CelebriGum's paradoxical combination of high and low culture -- "


Wow.  He literally was a gasbag.  The poor bastard just exploded like the Hindenburg.

Oh, the pretentious humanity.

I have to go get a mop.  Hope you liked the picture of Julianna Margulies with old gum.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Bill Maher -- A CelebriGum Rarity

Even if you're not a stamp collector, you've probably heard of the famous misprinted 1918 airmail stamp:

Only one sheet of 100 upside-down airplane stamps was released; single stamps from this set now fetch close to a million dollars.

So I expect well-heeled CelebriGum fans will be driven into a frenzy by this remarkable one-of-a-kind photo of Bill Maher:

Christie's pre-sale estimate is $3.5 million. 

(Not the auction house; New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who's notoriously bad at guessing the value of upside-down pictures.) 

Friday, September 16, 2011

Special Edition: Radio Man

This is Radio Man.

He's a formerly homeless man who's become a New York television and film institution.  He's friends with many celebrities, is plugged into all sorts of inside information, and has had cameo roles in shows and films such as "30 Rock," "Elf," and many others.  You can read more about him here and here.

Radio Man sometimes hangs out on 53rd street to schmooze with the celebrities.  I realized that he's in several CelebriGum photos.

With Harrison Ford

With Tim McGraw

With Henry Winkler

With Michael J. Fox

With Adam Sandler (challenging)

Extra challenge: Find Radio Man in a CelebriGum picture posted sometime during the month of August!

Super-difficult bonus challenge: determine whether the radio is set to the AM or FM band and what station it's tuned to, using military-grade photo enhancement technology, or by squinting!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Shia LaBeouf

Heh-heh, wouldn't it be cool if the gum suddenly transformed into a sooty little gray space robot?  Because Shia's in the Transformers movies, you know, so I'm just taking that reference and crudely applying it to…

Uh-oh.  Something's coming.  I sense evil.

"Hey losers, it's me, the Evil Gum on the adjacent window ledge.  Nicer gum color--check!  Better celebrity visibility--check!  Superior photo in general--check!   Let's face it, people always find the bad boy more interesting than the goody-goody hero.  That's why you'll love the new action-adventure series "Evil Gum," coming to CBS this fall, Wednesdays at 9, 8 Central!  See you during Premiere Week!"

Wow, I can't wait for the "Evil Gum" show!  Sorry, regular gum.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Kardashian Trifecta!

Drought-striken areas take note: every time at least two Kardashian sisters visit 53rd Street, it rains.  This is the third Kardashian/rain CelebriGum entry, after the umbrella-obscured Unknown Kardashian and Unknown Kardashian -- the sequel.  Maybe inviting a few Kardashians to Texas would do some good.

This time, I was able to make some tentative identifications.




Bonus Kardashian: 


Saturday, September 10, 2011

Michael J. Fox

CelebriGum presents "26 Year Old Reference Theater"!

 Things are going well for Michael J. Fox on 53rd Street, until . . . 

. . . ZAPP!  He's blasted with 1.21 gigawatts of electricity!

Get the reference?  

If you don't, Google it.  I don't have time to teach you mid-80's pop culture.

You do know what Google is, don't you?  

Google is a "search engine."  It can be accessed here.

Please tell me you're familiar with clickable hyperlinks.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Recent CelebriGum Rulings By The Supreme Court

Some CelebriGum photos are right on the line.  Is there enough celebrity content to put the Celebri- in CelebriGum?  Usually the decisions are handled by the CelebriGum Board of Directors or the U.S. 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals, but occasionally a really tough one goes all the way to the Supreme Court.

Here are a few recent rulings by the High Court, with excerpts from the majority and minority opinions.  Warning: controversy ahead!


From Stephen Breyer's majority opinion: "The framers of the Constitution never intended for blur to be a CelebriGum disqualification.  We see ample precedent in the lousy Tom Selleck and Hilary Swank entries.  While the Ben Stiller photo is unfortunate, to deny it CelebriGum status would set us on a dangerously slippery slope."

From Antonin Scalia's minority opinion: "I have to call bullshit on this one.  I saw "Night At The Museum" and Ben Stiller was not blurry. I'm not convinced it's him in the photo. As far as case law precedent goes, I think there's something in Marbury vs. Madison."


From Clarence Thomas' majority opinion: "Nope."

From Anthony Kennedy's minority opinion: "I can't tell if that's David Arquette in the back seat.  But I like the odd detail of the food delivery guy.  Maybe not all the photos have to have celebrities!  Wouldn't that make it a lot easier?"


From John Roberts' majority opinion: "There's the gum, there's the celebrity--case closed.  How many more of these do we have to look at?"

From Elena Kagan's minority opinion: "Would it have killed Steve to be ready at the window just a few seconds earlier so he could have gotten Keith's face?  I don't think we should reward his lack of preparedness."


From Samuel Alito's majority opinion: "I've been a CelebriGum fan since the beginning, and I don't think the head of a car company is a celebrity in the CelebriGum sense.  And though it's not as bad as the Ben Stiller picture, he is blurry.  Verdict: fail."

From Ruth Bader Ginsburg's minority opinion: "Come on, you idiots!  If we play this right, we could all get free Mustangs!  Or at least some free Dentyne!  Vote yes and let's git 'er done!"

My sincere thanks to the nine Justices for ignoring the country's more pressing legal questions in order to help CelebriGum.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Ashton Kutcher

I got several cool pictures of Ashton Kutcher.  As you may have heard, he's joined the cast of the CBS comedy "Two And A Half Men."

He's also one of the top-ranked celebrities on Twitter, with over seven and a half million followers.  That's a lot of influence!

If Ashton mentioned CelebriGum on his Twitter feed, just imagine how many people would check out this silly little project!

Mr. Kutcher, consider using your Twitter mojo to vault CelebriGum into the top rank of celebrity-and-old-gum photo sites!

I'd hate to have to go over your head to President Obama or Lady Gaga.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Emma Stone

Managers!  Agents!  Is your celebrity client too glamorous?  CelebriGum can help!

Listen to what red-hot film actress Emma Stone has to say:

"Other paparazzi take pictures that feature my beautiful face, my dazzling smile, my perfectly styled hair.  Not CelebriGum!" 

"The odd perspective and the damp, chaotic setting -- not to mention the disgusting gum in the foreground -- make the life of a Hollywood star look weird and grim.  Thanks, CelebriGum, for dialing back my glamour before it reached a potentially fatal level!"

You're welcome, Emma!  Come back any time you need another treatment!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Rafael Nadal

CelebriGum is always excited to celebrate firsts!  For example, U.S. Open champ Rafael Nadal is the first CelebriGum star to wear a sweater…

…that matches the color of his shuttle bus!

In fact, he's the first CelebriGum star to travel by shuttle bus!

And he's the first U.S. Open champ.

The first professional tennis player, in fact.

And my records show he's the first CelebriGum star named "Rafael."

Also, this is the first time I've started getting tired of CelebriGum "firsts."