"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Julianna Margulies

Congratulations to Julianna on the Emmy win!

And now, CelebriGum welcomes back its favorite fictional gasbag art critic, J. Arlen Parkwood, to give his high-falutin' review of the Julianna Margulies photo:

"A CelebriGum photo particularly rich in visual symbolism, echoed themes, and evocative contradictions.  First, we're invited to consider the gum itself, elevated to prominence above the mundane gum spots on the sidewalk--a subtle commentary on our society's celebrity culture. 

Notice how the pattern in Ms. Margulies' skirt is echoed in the texture of the reflected skyscraper, and the red of the taillights is picked up by the red of the painted markings on the sidewalk.  The red arrow brusquely instructs Julianna how to proceed with her carefully regimented celebrity life, yet she gazes curiously in the other direction.  And just as the gum (bubblegum?) is alone on its ledge, she too is alone in her bubble of fame.  

We look down to the street, but thanks to the car's reflective surface, we simultaneously look up into the sky, a reminder of CelebriGum's paradoxical combination of high and low culture -- "


Wow.  He literally was a gasbag.  The poor bastard just exploded like the Hindenburg.

Oh, the pretentious humanity.

I have to go get a mop.  Hope you liked the picture of Julianna Margulies with old gum.


  1. This is almost my favorite CelebriGum entry to use the word "brusquely."

  2. Are you a fan of the comedy writer, John Swartzwelder? Your writing has a similar flavor to it, did you ever write for Army Man Magazine? Also, do you answer questions?

  3. I don't think I've met John Swartzwelder, but I know that he, along with "Army Man" founder George Meyer, used to be a Simpsons writer, so I'd have to say that I'm theoretically a fan. I did write one Simpsons episode back in the 90's, as it happens, and I know George and various other Simpsons people, but not John. I got to the comedy world a little too late for "Army Man," sadly.

    Regarding answering questions: I think it's too soon to tell.

  4. "Stunningly pointless. Really sucks."

    Anyone who can tell us where that line comes from can bask in the glory of knowing that they possess vast stores of useless knowledge.

  5. Hey which Simpsons episode did you write? Glad to hear it was in the 90's and not the dreaded 2000's.

  6. Duh, "Hurricane Neddy". The only episode where Ned Flanders was out of character, but because it was funny, not because of poor writing. I learned more about hurricanes from that one episode than a half semester of a meteorology class at McHenry Community College.

  7. Thanks, David. This is the point where I issue my standard disclaimer that the Simpsons writing process is highly collaborative, and the premise for the "Hurricane Neddy" episode wasn't even my idea.

  8. Okay, Karl. I don't know the reference. And I don't want to Google it, because Rick Santorum says Google is filthy.

  9. Surely it was Dan Akroyd on SNL (1978), playing art critic Leonard Pinth-Garnell in the skit "Bad Conceptual Art", critiquing Pavlov's "Video Chicken I" - pronouncing it "Stunningly Pointless, Really Sucks". I couldn't find video of that episode, but I found another similar one where he critiques bad ballet: http://www.hulu.com/watch/4128/saturday-night-live-bad-ballet

    I was reminded of all this by your gasbag art critic J. Arlen Parkwood.

  10. Karl, I bet you enjoyed that sketch when it aired live. I don't know many people who enjoy SNL sketches from before they were born, that is except for the legendary ones.

  11. Indeed I was alive and remember it well. I believe it was the last episode where the original cast (Aykroyd, Belushi, Murray, Curtin, Newman, Radner, etc.) all appeared together.

    Steve I think we're ready for a new photo.

  12. The gum wrote a Simpsons episode? I always assumed that show was written by a rock.