Shia LaBeouf

Heh-heh, wouldn't it be cool if the gum suddenly transformed into a sooty little gray space robot?  Because Shia's in the Transformers movies, you know, so I'm just taking that reference and crudely applying it to…

Uh-oh.  Something's coming.  I sense evil.

"Hey losers, it's me, the Evil Gum on the adjacent window ledge.  Nicer gum color--check!  Better celebrity visibility--check!  Superior photo in general--check!   Let's face it, people always find the bad boy more interesting than the goody-goody hero.  That's why you'll love the new action-adventure series "Evil Gum," coming to CBS this fall, Wednesdays at 9, 8 Central!  See you during Premiere Week!"

Wow, I can't wait for the "Evil Gum" show!  Sorry, regular gum.