"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Katie Holmes

 Seconds away from disaster!

Each year, several thousand cyclists are seriously injured when, distracted by nearby celebrities, they look away from the road and crash into parked vehicles.

Since these cyclists aren't celebrities, their suffering is of no consequence.  However, treating their injuries is a drag on our overburdened healthcare system.

Lesson: cyclists should dismount and walk their bikes while staring at celebrities.


Here's your second-to-last installment of the Anne Hathaway Year-End Bonus Photo Event.

Each year, dozens of construction workers are injured when, distracted by nearby celebrities, they walk into orange barrels.  

Lesson: shit happens.  Also, pedestrians should dismount from their legs while staring at celebrities.


  1. Each year, a handful of CelebriGum fans are injured by a bonus lasting more than 4 hours.

    Lesson: Seek immediate medical attention for a bonus lasting more than 4 hours. Also, I shouldn't be allowed to comment on CelebriGum anymore.

    1. BettyCarrollBiernottDecember 29, 2012 at 8:51 PM

      True,you should not be allowed to comment anymore. Lesson: Leave comments to Steve. He is a virtual suppository of Celebrigum commentation. He's the chicle fo' shicle.

    2. Insert suppository joke here.

    3. 2012 was going so well at CelebriGum... and now this!

    4. The Toast in the MachineDecember 30, 2012 at 11:11 PM

      Shit happens...