Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
CelebriGum Entry #360: "Struggle & Reward"
The life of a professional New York cello walker can be tough and lonely…
But at least there's the occasional celebrity sighting.
Constantly stared at by cello walkers, a celebrity's life can be tough and lonely…
Friday, July 27, 2012
Attention, movie buffs! Sneak preview of a blockbuster sequel!
After stuffing the foul-mouthed teddy bear into a bag of used clothing and housewares and donating him to Goodwill, Mark Wahlberg is finally rid of Ted. But then a piece of old gum on a New York City window ledge comes to life and captivates Mark with fascinating lectures on Technology, Entertainment, and Design. Here we see Mark shushing the crowd, since the gum doesn't have a mouth and is difficult to hear.
Ted 2: TED. In theaters this fall. (In the extremely unlikely event Universal Pictures sees this, likes it, and rushes it into production.)
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
…I also love the ones with interesting people at the periphery. For example, in this shot we see Kyra's Posing Coach reminding her how to do "arms akimbo."
And in this one, there's actually a physical altercation going on at the upper left.
CelebriGum: celebrities, old gum, and so much more!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Cleveland fans still haven't forgiven the gum's decision several years ago to leave that city and take its talents to New York.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
…despite the fact that my boss Dave Letterman has already given away the ending to this CelebriGum entry.
Yes, Anne gets into the SUV. Well, it would have been a fantastic surprise.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
What a sweet existence, to be a celebrity.
…an assistant to handle all your stuff…
…even a conductor to lead the small orchestra in the back of an SUV, playing a fanfare for your arrival.
What a horrible existence, to be a violinist stuffed into the back of an SUV with six other musicians.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
SUV pulls up. Turn on the camera. Screen goes black, flashes message: "Replace battery pack." I always have the spare battery in my pocket… except just this once I don't.
Time for some old school CelebriGumming with the cell phone.
It doesn't freeze action well, but it got a decent on-the-fly shot.
By the time Queen Latifah left, I'd replaced the battery.
I like the shadow in this one.
Oh, my camera's flashing another message: "Replace photographer."
Seems a little harsh.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Here we see Channing Tatum, star of "Magic Mike," along with the GumTones, the new group of backup singers provided to visiting celebrities by CelebriGum.
It turns out Channing didn't sing, and the GumTones had nothing to do. Might have to rethink this.
Meanwhile, ladies, here's another picture for your viewing pleasure.
Sorry, he kept his clothes on. The gum's naked, if that helps.
Friday, July 13, 2012
One of the fun things about doing CelebriGum is overhearing the conversations on the street below."Excuse me, miss, do you know where I can take umbrella lessons? I can't figure out how to work this thing. No matter what I do, it's just a stick with flaps."
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
CelebriGum is back after a nearly two week hiatus, during which I traveled to Amsterdam to represent CelebriGum at the 2012 Worldwide Gum Humor Conference.
In addition to delivering a well-received keynote address at the conference, I also previewed some upcoming CelebriGum photos, including these Emma Stone pictures, for my colleagues.
They had plenty of suggestions for Emma Stone entry zingers:
"Emma Stone, and gum that is like a stone! Yes?" --Dimitri Karasov, Moscow, editor of "Chewing Substance Mirth" magazine
"Note that Emma Stone is in "The Amazing Spider-Man"! Take care, Spider Man, as you swing about the city on your sticky web, that you don't yourself become caught by sticky gum! Irony indeed!" --Henri Peugard, Paris, producer of French TV show "Blow Bubble Funny Hello"
"Emma Stone, okay. Very nice. But be sure to mention that within two years China will develop a celebrity and old gum photo website cheaper than yours." --Zhou Zhong Liao, Beijing, Deputy Culture Minister for Latex Product Happiness
Thanks, guys! Lots of good stuff there! I think I'll just keep writing my own material for now.
p.s. to Zhou: good luck undercutting me on price.