"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Monday, January 28, 2013

Dustin Hoffman


My friend David Schatsky recently asked me if I'd "considered the challenges of licensing CelebriGum in Singapore."

Singapore, as you may know, is a strict society.  The import and sale of chewing gum is illegal.  The ban, enacted in 1992 and modified in 2004 and 2010, came in response to used gum being inconsiderately disposed of on floors, stairways, and pavements, not to mention in mailboxes, keyholes, and on elevator buttons.

Under pressure from the U.S. government and lobbyists working for the Wrigley company, Singapore eventually allowed the sale of sugar free gum of a sort that strengthens tooth enamel, but it must be sold by a dentist or pharmacist who records the names of buyers.

All this leads to my answer to David's question: yes, for over two years CelebriGum has been in negotiations with the government of Singapore, which outlawed viewing this website shortly after it launched in 2010.  CelebriGum's lawyers have pointed out that simply looking at the site does not constitute gum sale or possession, but the government takes the position that the photos are inflammatory and may inspire law-breaking.  For example: this Dustin Hoffman photo, which depicts a considerable amount of gum on the sidewalk as well as the gum on the ledge.


I hate to admit it, but I kind of see their point.

Anyway, the negotiations have concluded.  If you are a resident of Singapore, stop looking at that photograph.  

Also do not look at this photograph:



Instead, navigate your browser to my new, Singapore government-approved site, celebriledge.com, which features sanitized photos such as this:




I'm sorry, Singapore CelebriGum fans.  I really tried.  But I don't want you to be subject to fines, imprisonment, or caning on my account.

9 comments:

  1. Apparently Nicorette is legal there...ooh Celebrigum's dirty smoking addicted cousin, Nico.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You might have to get it from a pharmacist who'll write down your name.

      FYI, it's also a law there that you have to flush public toilets.

      Delete
  2. The Toast in the MachineJanuary 29, 2013 at 6:45 AM

    Gum porn...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I clicked on the link. It appears that Singapore shut down CelebriLedge, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am having terrible luck with Singapore this year.

      Delete
  4. この Celebrigum サイトは、すべてのコストで停止する必要があります。それは私達の青年の心中毒は、うちの長老たちの胃の肥育します!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couldn't resist turning to Google Translate. Turns out that's Japanese. Anyway, it says:

      Celebrigum this site must be stopped at all costs. It is poisoning the mind of our youth, the fattening of the elders of the stomach in!!

      Delete