"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Steve Martin

Setting: my brain
Dramatis personae: two perpetually arguing voices in my brain (everyone has those, right?)

Voice 1: There he is, in the fedora!  Hey, you know what would be cute?  Use the photo editing software to put Steve's fedora on the gum!

Voice 2: Ehh… no.

Voice 1: Do it!  Do it now!  He's about to get in the car, and then the entry will be over, and you'll have nothing!

Voice 2: I don't know; it seems both right-up-the-middle and meaningless.

Voice 1: You don't have the luxury of worrying about that when… hold on.  That wasn't his car.

Voice 2: Okay, good.  That buys me a little more time.  

Voice 1: Hurry!  Steve's car is right behind the first one!  You still haven't figured out a viable idea for this entry, have you?

Voice 2: It's just photos of celebrities juxtaposed with old gum.  That's enough.

Voice 1: That's not enough!  It hasn't been enough since the third entry!

Voice 2: I know, I know.  I always come up with something.  Give me a second, I'm thinking.

Voice 1: No time to think!  Put the fedora on the gum!  It'll be cute, it'll seem like something!

Voice 2:  I just… eh, I can't.

Voice 1:  Too late.  He's in the car.  You blew it, Mr. High Artistic Standards.  Game over.

Voice 2:  Hold on… what about….

Voice 1:  Huh?  I don't even get that.

Voice 2:  I know.  That's why I like it.

"Two Voices In My Head Arguing About The Steve Martin Entry" is brought to you by the August 1921 issue of The American Hatter Magazine, which reminds you:

Voice 2: This website has run completely off the rails.

Voice 1: For once, I agree with you. 


  1. Ok -- time to lower the dosage. :)

  2. Replies
    1. Thanks, cleverly millinered woman!

    2. I millinered a woman once, though in my defense it was college and I was drunk.

  3. Replies
    1. Another ill-considered government stimulus project...

  4. I'm writing the Board of Directors of Celebrigum to urge you be given a raise, based solely on this entry alone. You might get those voices in your head checked with the money from the raise, though. Hats off to you.

    1. There's where the Board will find the loophole. They'll say that you can't give a "raise" if there's no starting point to raise from.

  5. This website ran off the rails with the Chelsea Handler entry. Oh, wait. No, that's not correct. This website ran up and down the stairs during the Chelsea Handler entry. Sorry; my bad.

    1. The new entry sort of continues the theme. It features someone who famously ran off the rails.

    2. At least you're consistent.