"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Shia LaBeouf

I thought I was done with the APMA, the American Podiatric Medical Association.

They'd been leaning on me for years to do a CelebriGum entry about foot problems, and I figured the Jim Carrey entry, in which he tromped around 53rd Street in wacky giant feet, would have been just what they wanted.

The APMA was not amused.  "Buffoonish," they said.  "Not a serious look at foot health problems.  If anything, it trivializes feet.  Unacceptable."

"There's nothing I can do," I said.  "We very rarely get celebrities with foot issues." 

"We'll take care of that," they said.  

That was a couple weeks ago.  I didn't think about my exchange with the APMA again until I saw Shia LaBeouf arriving at the show.

What's that on his left foot?

An orthopedic boot!

On the show, Shia insisted to Dave that he'd broken several metatarsal bones in his foot while jumping rope to train for a boxing movie.  Yeah, right.  

Shia is understandably reluctant to speak up against the APMA's thugs, but we all know what really happened.  Forget "first do no harm" -- this gang of podiatrists is happy to take a bat to celebrity's foot if it'll draw attention to foot maladies.

Shia, I'm so sorry you got caught in the middle of this. 

I hope you're satisfied, you foot health monsters.


  1. This foot thuggery stinks - pun intended. Don't forget what the APMA got a horse to do to Kaley Cuoco.

    1. I have forgotten, if I ever knew. I'll Google it and expect to be outraged.


      Oh dear. That's awful. Foot thuggery at its worst.

  2. Those APMA folks are a bunch of jack-orthopedic-booted thugs!!