Amy Sedaris

Amy, a well-known arts & crafts enthusiast and style maven, has outdone herself this Fashion Week.  Introducing the first accessory that combines looks, comfort, and road safety!

It's the knitted orange traffic cone hat!

You may scoff, but note that no motorists attempted to drive on the sidewalk as she approached the stage door.  

Well done, Amy!  CelebriGum and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration salute you!

The Quarterback, The Coach, & The Surprise

The Late Show has an excellent track record when it comes to booking key members of Super Bowl winning teams.  This past week was no exception.  But something else was going on this week that resulted in delightful strangeness.

On Monday we had Baltimore Ravens quarterback and Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco.  

He'd woken up in New Orleans after one hour of sleep, flown to Disney World, then flown to a small airport in New Jersey where he got in a helicopter to bring him over to Manhattan.   

On Thursday we had Ravens Head Coach John Harbaugh.  Here he prepares to leave after signing autographs and posing for photos across the street.

 But wait -- who's that over by the stage door?

It's Shawn Klush, one of the performers from the Late Show's Elvis Presley Tribute Artist Week!

 Out of nowhere, an emotional moment!  Don't ask why -- just go with it!

 Ahhh.  This is the kind of weirdness that keeps me coming back to the gum window.

A salute: to the awesome power of the Baltimore Ravens.  And to the awesome power of the music, the sideburns, and the jumpsuit.  

And to the awesome power of the gum. 

Jason Bateman

I've said it before and I'll say it again: we need a law requiring celebrities to wear electronic collars or be microchipped or something.  We simply cannot have them wandering off and getting lost.

Case in point: Jason Bateman.

Oblivious to the fact that he was about to be on television, he somehow slipped out the door without Late Show security noticing.  Away he went down 53rd Street.

With his segment moments away and no Jason Bateman to be found, staffers frantically searched surrounding blocks.  Mr. Bateman was finally located in a novelty t-shirt shop a few blocks down Broadway, disoriented and upset.

He allowed himself to be led back to the theater, babbling about wanting "to see the world outside of my restrictive celebrity bubble."  Nope.  Not a good idea.

Let's hope that despite the opposition of the National Celebrity Association, Congress can finally pass meaningful celebrity control legislation this year. 

Al Pacino

Last time, we saw Martin Short indulgently shmoozing with celebri-pest Radio Man.  (See the Martin Short entry below for more information and a link to a video about him.)

This time, Al Pacino demonstrates his mastery of the opposite approach: the Radio Man blow-off.

Mr. Pacino approaches his SUV after signing autographs and posing for fan photos.  (He's a good sport.  But he only has so much time and patience.)

Radio Man makes his move.  This is the crucial moment.  Any hesitation now on Mr. Pacino's part and he gets sucked into the Radio Man vortex.

Without breaking stride or making eye contact, Mr. Pacino continues on toward the open door of his vehicle.  Radio Man senses defeat.

It's over.  Sorry, Radio Man.  Bruce Willis is on next week; maybe he'll chat with you.  Or maybe not.

Want to get into the rewarding world of gum photography?  Check out the FanGum Photo Contest!  Click the tab above for details!

Martin Short

Martin congratulates a bearded gentleman on the success of his breast augmentation surgery.

No, no! It's peripheral showbiz character and occasional CelebriGum guest star Radio Man. He's protecting his radio under a rain poncho. Without that all-important 

radio, he'd just be Man. And someone named Man wouldn't be interesting enough to merit his own documentary (note the sweatshirt).

Radio Man in fair weather, with one of several radios in his wardrobe.

Martin, you're a very talented comedic performer, but in the 21st century, we're 

turning more and more to celebrities who are famous for being famous, like the Kardashians, Radio Man, and an old piece of gum.  Come on, shake hands with Radio Man, and show that you accept the new world order.

Very good.  I'll try to fit you in as a guest star when I do my next Radio Man entry.

Al Gore

Former U.S. Representative and Senator.  Vice President.  Presidential candidate who won the popular vote.  Nobel Peace Prize, Grammy, and Emmy winner.  Television channel founder, climate activist, author, professor.

But on CelebriGum, he's no more important than a filthy old piece of gum. 

There's your "inconvenient truth."  

Sylvester Stallone

A well-dressed man came out the stage door.  A few people called "Sylvester!  Sylvester!" and I began shooting.  But no -- it wasn't Sylvester Stallone.  I'd been Pemlich'ed!

Meet Chuck Pemlich, legendary gum photo-bomber.  He travels around the country, turning up at gum-related events and weaseling his way into the photos.

You see him leaning in and smiling at Wrigley press conferences. Crashing the annual Dentyne Ball and posing with puzzled gum VIP's.  His face was all over the recent Bazooka rebranding coverage.

It occurred to me that Pemlich might target CelebriGum next, and I resolved to be vigilant.  But I wasn't vigilant enough.

There's Sylvester Stallone, just a few feet away from every gum photographer's nemesis. 

Well played, Pemlich.  You win... this time.

Dustin Hoffman

My friend David Schatsky recently asked me if I'd "considered the challenges of licensing CelebriGum in Singapore."

Singapore, as you may know, is a strict society.  The import and sale of chewing gum is illegal.  The ban, enacted in 1992 and modified in 2004 and 2010, came in response to used gum being inconsiderately disposed of on floors, stairways, and pavements, not to mention in mailboxes, keyholes, and on elevator buttons.

Under pressure from the U.S. government and lobbyists working for the Wrigley company, Singapore eventually allowed the sale of sugar free gum of a sort that strengthens tooth enamel, but it must be sold by a dentist or pharmacist who records the names of buyers.

All this leads to my answer to David's question: yes, for over two years CelebriGum has been in negotiations with the government of Singapore, which outlawed viewing this website shortly after it launched in 2010.  CelebriGum's lawyers have pointed out that simply looking at the site does not constitute gum sale or possession, but the government takes the position that the photos are inflammatory and may inspire law-breaking.  For example: this Dustin Hoffman photo, which depicts a considerable amount of gum on the sidewalk as well as the gum on the ledge.

I hate to admit it, but I kind of see their point.

Anyway, the negotiations have concluded.  If you are a resident of Singapore, stop looking at that photograph.  

Also do not look at this photograph:

Instead, navigate your browser to my new, Singapore government-approved site, celebriledge.com, which features sanitized photos such as this:

I'm sorry, Singapore CelebriGum fans.  I really tried.  But I don't want you to be subject to fines, imprisonment, or caning on my account.

Tony Bennett

In an era when many celebrities are famous merely for being famous, and have accomplished about as much as a piece of gum stuck to a window ledge, it's instructive to consider the life and career of 86 year old Tony Bennett.

He grew up in the Depression, the child of poor immigrant parents.  He saw combat in World War II.  He marched for civil rights with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  He's an accomplished painter, with works on display in several museums.

His musical career spans over 60 years.  His awards include 17 Grammys, two Emmys, and a Kennedy Center Honor, just to name a few.  His music continues to find new audiences with each succeeding generation.  Just days ago he performed at one of President Obama's inaugural events.

In 1991, he set the world record for the long jump. He received the 2006 Nobel Prize in Chemistry for his studies of the molecular basis of eukaryotic transcription.  His Magic Marshmallow Crescent Puffs won the 1969 Pillsbury Bake-Off.  In his effort to rid the Florida Everglades of invasive species, to date he has killed 30 Burmese pythons, in most cases using nothing more than a rake.   A YouTube video shows him nonchalantly swallowing a tablespoon of cinnamon, then swallowing the spoon.

Tony Bennett doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis. 

(Note: Tony Bennett also created Dos Equis's "The Most Interesting Man In The World" ad campaign.  Damn, he's impressive.)

Guest Photographer Todd

Late Show cue card guy and occasional on-air personality Todd Seda has been a valuable CelebriGum ally since the early days.  Here are some of the recent shots he's grabbed when I couldn't be at the window.

 Carly Rae Jepsen.

A cool one of Steven Tyler.

Naomi Watts.  "I see why you got the little nighttime clip-on gum light," Todd said.

 Brian Williams, partial, freaky.

Brian Williams, complete, conventional.

 Josh Brolin.

Here's Todd:

This photo is part of my Googly Eyes series, which you can see more of here.  Yeah, I have too many projects.  Thank God Todd is around to help.

Charlie Sheen

Charlie's in a strange business if he doesn't like having his picture taken.

Well, I'm sure he knows what he's doing.  He always displays excellent judgement.

Michael J. Fox

 Always good to have Michael stop by for a visit.

Michael will be starring in a new NBC comedy in which he plays a -- wait, what's that at the top left?

Holy crap, is that a Doosan Daewoo G32P?

Yes!  I knew it!

I owned a G32P back in high school.  I bought it right after I got my forklift license, and it had seen better days, but man, I loved that thing.  Cruisin' on a Friday night, stacking pallets in the warehouse, going to the drive-in, unloading bales of pulp at the paper mill, and of course taking my date to the prom… she balanced on the forks while I drove… this was in the days before anyone worried about "safety."  Yes, it was a sweet industrial truck, but I used it less and less once I went off to college, and it needed more and more expensive repairs, so eventually I sold it… now, of course, I wish I'd kept it.  Once fairly common, G32P's are rare these days.  You occasionally see one at a vintage forklift show, or you might spot a rich Wall Street guy zipping around the city on a meticulously restored example.  

I know Dave's got an old Clark C500-45, a Hyster H50XM, and a Crown CG30E, so I'm sure this beauty is his too.  I wonder if for old time's sake he'd let me take it for a spin around the block and move some bags of cement.