"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Katie Holmes

Katie called me the day before she was scheduled to appear on the Late Show. "Steve, you know I love CelebriGum, but if I have one complaint, it's the drabness of many of the pictures."

"I know," I said.  "I try to include red taillights and orange safety cones, but many days it's a lot of gray sidewalk, cloudy weather, black cars, and people in black clothing.  Not to mention the gray, sooty gum.  What can we do?"

"I'll bring my blue tarp and put it over a pile of stuff on the sidewalk."  

"That's a start."  

"And I can carry something colorful.  Maybe a peacock," Katie said.

"Don't do that.  Paul Shaffer's Canadian, and Canadians are allergic to peacocks."

"Oh, right.  How about I hold a dozen bananas."

"That would work, but you can't have bananas in New York anymore.  Mayor Bloomberg banned them because the peels are a slipping hazard."

"Good lord.  Okay, well, I'll figure out something."

Katie came up with a great solution.  That striking flash of red is the bouquet of flowers from the backstage utility closet where the remains of Ed Sullivan are stored.  They change the flowers every day anyway; it wasn't really stealing.  


  1. The Toast in the MachineMay 7, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    So, that's where all that TARP money went.

  2. Caption: "Red roses aren't my favorite. Um, do your RESEARCH, people!" :D

  3. The red roses aren't meant for you, Ms. Notapinkgirl. You're not paying attention!

  4. Terap today, gone tarpmorrow

  5. Whhops that failed then lol

    Tarp today,gone tapmarrow

  6. I would make a joke about Tom's fist coming up to hit your for taking Katie's photo, but I'm way above making jokes about that.

  7. Everybody knows that war would be incredibly costly here, but the for all sides. You know, both Israel and Syria know it would be a very damaging war. And the Israelis signaled that they don't want to take this beyond what happened today. Know that a desperate NDP will increasingly resort to scare tactics over the next 11 months. After all, the NDP lied about the carbon tax to get elected, so what won they lie about to stay in power? said Kenney this summer. Albertans are smarter than the Anger Machine give them credit for.

    As she Sac Longchamp Solde transitions to elected official, Levine Cava touches on the same environmental priorities that helped Sorenson hold the seat over two decades but are sure to rankle the county's pro growth constituencies. At a recent meeting Longchamp Soldes Destockage with Gimenez, Levine Cava said Ray Ban Sunglasses Sale UK she raised the Bolsos Michael Kors Baratos idea of new residential construction guidelines to deal with higher sea levels. Her first press release touted a Oakley Sunglasses Sale UK family Everglades trip that she linked to another sea level issue: salt Michael Kors Purses Clearance water intrusion into the county's aquifer.