"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Thursday, May 19, 2011

May Sweeps Episode Starring Wynton Marsalis!

May sweeps is traditionally when all the gum-related websites put up their most shocking, ratings-grabbing posts.  I may look down my nose at the cheesy melodrama, but I'm in the game, and I'm playing to win.

So, while this photo of Wynton Marsalis is fine, what it really needs is...

Explosions!  The gum dangling perilously at the edge!  And a stunning revelation:  Wynton Marsalis is my real father!

Will Wynton escape?  Will he ever get to meet me, his long-lost son?  Will the gum plunge to its fiery destruction? 

And what about the gentleman with the cane?  Is he harboring a dark secret that could tear apart our families, our community, and America itself?

Stay tuned for the next CelebriGum installment, in which all these questions will be ignored.


  1. All I can say at this juncture is "Oh the humanity!! This is one of the worst catastrophes in the world!! It's crashing people!!! Get out of the way people. Please get away. Ladies and gentlemen, it's just smoke and flames now. Oh, I can't talk, ladies and gentlemen.... Oh the humanity...."

  2. Yes, Karl, it does seem dire. Though now that I think of it, I have no idea what was exploding.

  3. The Toast in the MachineMay 21, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    What was exploding? Why, the popularity of CelebriGum, of course!

  4. Karl In The Machine: "Oh, the gummanity!"

  5. I thought the guy with the cane was Dave.

  6. Close, Preston, but not quite yet.

  7. I was wondering if Alan Kalter was somewhere nearby, and you were getting a reflection.

  8. Strike that last comment. It was meant for the photo of Seth Meyers. I will move it over there, post haste.