"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Katie Holmes


Well, this was disappointing:


To: Steve Young, CEO, CelebriGum Inc., Penthouse Suite, 1 CelebriGum Plaza, New York NY 10019 USA

From: Angela Merkel, Chancellor, the Bundestag, Berlin, Federal Republic of Germany

30 November 2011

Dear Herr Young,

It is with great regret that I confess I have not been able to write a humorous commentary for your photograph of Katie Holmes with the gum.  

When I agreed to be a guest commentator some time ago, I did not anticipate that an unprecedented financial crisis would soon be afflicting the Euro zone.  I have been extremely busy dealing with that bullshit, if you'll pardon my French.

I apologize for letting you and the CelebriGum community down, and I hope that when order is restored to Europe's financial system, you will consider giving me another chance.  In the meantime, Berlusconi's free; you might try him if you're looking for something smutty.  

I wish you continued success with CelebriGum and I look forward to seeing you again at the next G8 Summit.

Best,
Angela

18 comments:

  1. I've got your address! Get ready for unwanted Pizza delivered by Mr.Hands-Herman Cain.

    I thought she was married. Isn't her name Katie Cruise? It just falls off the tongue like a pound of thumb tacks.

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  2. Or as Angela would say, a kilo of Thumbtacken.

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  3. I've been to the Bundestag.

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  4. Did I mention that i've been to the Bundestag? Also that I know a little German? He's standing right over there.

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  5. Waiting for somebody to say Gesundheit...

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  6. "Did I mention that I've been to the Bundestag?" is a great line to use anytime there's a lull in any conversation.

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  7. If there's a lull in a conversation I like to say "who cut the cheese?" I'm rarely invited to social functions.

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  8. Especially the social functions of the lactose-intolerant.

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  9. I typically enjoy you show, however, tonight you had a guest on It started out with the subject of football and Tim Tebow. Your guest was qauestioned about his football background in high school and college. He stated, he was not Christian enough to be a quarter back. Coupled with the previous subject of Tim Tebow, I take this very offensive. I am offended, and am asking my Christian friends not to watch your program, regardless if it makes a difference. I am speaking outloud. From what I know, he is a fine man, dedicates himself to serving others regardless of their beliefs, he is a great American, and does great things for so many that have little.

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  10. ps i AM EXPECTIN A REPLY TO MY COMMENT, IF NOT, WELL, IT IS WHAT IT IS.

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