"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Friday, February 3, 2012

Kate Beckinsale


"Kate!  Do you know the identity of the Mystery Chewer who'll be revealed on Sunday?"

"Can you comment on the rumor that it's Trident gum, Kate?"

"How long has the gum been on the ledge?  Kate!  Give us something!"

"Did you chew the gum, Kate?"

"Is the chewer a celebrity or a Late Show staffer?  Or someone else?  Help us out, Kate, we've been waiting here for hours!"

"Does that guy in the red shirt really think he'll get a decent picture of you, Kate?"

"Kate!  Are you here for the countdown to CelebriGum's overhyped "Mystery Chewer Revealed" event, scheduled for halftime of the Super Bowl on celebrigum.com?"

"Kate!  Kate!  Ah, forget it, guys, she has no idea what we're talking about."

16 comments:

  1. I think I know who the mystery chewer is but I won't say. It's Madonna! Talk about the best reveal! Half time at the super bowl! You've out done yourself!

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    Replies
    1. Make perfect sense! Madonna hates Dave. I'll bet she stuck the gum on that ledge just to make him crazy.

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    2. I can neither confirm nor deny that it's Madonna.

      (Note to self: find out if there's a way to issue CelebriGum stock, then short it when it soars due to the Madonna rumor. Maybe Bernie would know. Is he allowed to take phone calls in his cell?)

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    3. WAS IT BERNIE MADOFF??? DID HE CHEW THE GUM????????

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    4. Why does it have to be just one person? Maybe Madonna and Bernie Madoff chewed it together!

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    5. I know what happened. It was when Jay Leno and Oprah Leno came over to have chips with Dave. Jay and Oprah wanted to make out and needed to put the gum somewhere. As you can tell, the reveal will ruin my fun.

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    6. I tried to make a picture of Bernie and Madonna chewing the wad together, but I suck at Photoshop.

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  2. Forget about the mystery chewer. Who's the guy in the red shirt taking pictures?!

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    Replies
    1. NEVER FORGET THE MYSTERY CHEWER or the Alamo.

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  3. Hey Steve I've got to be out of the country tomorrow - can you tell me the name today? My phone number is 555-5555. I promise I won't tell anyone else. Thanx!

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  4. The Toast in the MachineFebruary 5, 2012 at 9:50 AM

    If only Kate were at my Beckincall... (I'm advertising the big event as we speak...er...I mean, as we type.)

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