"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Michelle Williams

Attention, celebrities appearing on New York talk shows!  Beware of the latest scam!

After your vehicle pulls in and you get out, you're accosted by a distraught woman.  "Oh my God!" she wails.  "Your SUV just ran over my paper cup!"  She indicates a mangled paper cup on the pavement near your vehicle's tire as a few "random bystanders" nod in agreement.

Because you're a good person, you want to make things right.  You offer to reimburse her for the paper cup.  This calms her down.  She claims the paper cup's replacement cost is $8.  This seems high, but if you object, she starts to crank up the hysteria again.  Anxious to end the unpleasantness, you hand over the $8 and hurry inside.

Of course, your SUV didn't run over the cup; she planted it there the instant you parked.  And $8 is far too much to pay for a new paper cup.  Savvy New Yorkers can usually get them for under $4.  But by the time you realize all this, the scam artist and her confederates have gleefully pocketed their $2 each and are on to their next easy mark.

If you believe you have been a victim of the Paper Cup Scam, contact the Manhattan District Attorney's office.  


  1. You mentioned "confederates." Also, Dixie makes paper cups. Steve, I thought you were a Yankee!

    1. Too soon, Jason. We're still binding up the nation's wounds.

  2. The comment section is quit for this post... time for some jokes.

    $8 paper cups? I only pay that much for C cups and above. I'm working blue.

  3. Michelle Williams much like Marilyn Monroe has six toes, but unlike Marilyn Michelle wasn't born with six toes she just lost a bet one day and 4 toes.

  4. The paper cup ruse was made famous by Danny Glover in the 1993 made for TV movie "The Sting: 4 TV".

  5. That's all I've got for tonight. Have a good night and drive safely, or at least not the same streets as me.

  6. Still too soon, David.

  7. David, you've given us a lot to think about. And to Google. Six toes???

  8. Yes, don't Google too hard. You'll learn that 6 toes thing is a myth, no proof. For me no proof means that it isn't isn't true.