CelebriGum encompasses the heights of joy and the depths of despair.
But note the damage to the dumpster lid. A couple days earlier, despondent over my failure to get gum photos of Claire Danes, Emma Watson, Neil Young, or even British Prime Minister David Cameron, I leaped from the second story window in an attempt to end it all.
The bruises are fading and, thanks to the support of family and friends, I'm in a better place now. I have a healthy perspective on what's important.
I just better get Tom Hanks on Monday.
Does your health insurance cover busted dumpster lids?ReplyDelete
The WGA insurance covers my injuries. The DGA (Dumpster Guild of America) covers any claims from the dumpster.Delete
We need a single-payer dumpster care system.Delete
I smell a cover-up. I believe the gum can morph into a cruel malicious menance who threw Ms. Danes off the ledge, because he thought she was a real CIA agent.ReplyDelete
Certainly not the craziest conspiracy theory I've seen on the internet.Delete
May I suggest you open the lid next time you go dumpster diving? You may find something that makes life worth living inside. Or at least you may find a nice pair of trousers-or lunch.Delete
Odd how these very valid points never occur to the suicidal.Delete
If the lid was open your fall would have been cushioned by last week's jokes. D'ohhhhhhhhhhhh.ReplyDelete
No, Karl. As part of the Late Show's eco-friendly recycling program, we don't throw jokes away, we use them again and again. D'ohhhhhhhhhhhh.Delete
...and again, and again, and again....and again...Delete
Every Earth Day, we even recycle jokes about how we recycle jokes.Delete
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