"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Nathan Fillion


It's painful to write this entry.

Various circumstances, including easy credit during the boom years, profligate spending, and, I'm sorry to say, corruption, have resulted in CelebriGum owing 200 billion dollars.  

Revenue is holding steady at $0.

Fortunately, a bailout was put together by the European Central Bank and longtime CelebriGum fan Angela Merkel.  We've averted default for the time being.  However, the debt restructuring plan includes austerity measures: this photo of Nathan Fillion, TV's "Castle," has been reduced in size by 50%.


Sorry, Mr. Fillion.  Thank you for your heroic efforts, Angela.  We'll get through this together.


27 comments:

  1. What the hell did CelebriGum spend $200-billion on?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, a hundred billion went to Facebook advertising. GM is right: utterly useless.

      A couple hundred million went to the gleaming 55 story office tower at 1 CelebriGum Plaza.

      I'd have to dig out my receipt file for the rest.

      Delete
    2. I'm no longer in Boston, so you're welcome to my old Charlie Card for the T. I think it still has a couple of bucks left on it.

      Delete
  2. David KazmierskiJune 20, 2012 at 9:05 PM

    I'm sorry, I've been charging my Blockbuster Video Account to the Celebrigum credit card again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FIne. I just hope you're not renting anything too freaky that will end up damaging my reputation.

      Delete
    2. Only the naughtiest of the American Pie direct to DVD movies available at my local Blockbuster. Can you blame me? That Eugene Levy is one sexy man.

      Delete
    3. You'll love the Eugene Levy entry, then. It hasn't been written or scheduled yet, but I do have pictures of him in the "pending" file.
      Perhaps the fact that I haven't seen any of those movies has impeded my inspiration.

      Delete
    4. The Toast in the MachineJune 21, 2012 at 6:53 PM

      Be kind, rewind

      Delete
  3. You could at least say " I am sorry", like Jamie Dimon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I'm not sorry.

      I apologize for my lack of remorse, however.

      Delete
  4. I've always abhorred profligate spending.

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    Replies
    1. The Toast in the MachineJune 21, 2012 at 6:52 PM

      Nature abhors a vacuum...so did my ex-wife.

      Delete
    2. Nature says "meh" about a Swiffer.

      Delete
  5. Googling Mr. Fillion and I can't help but notice the many mentions of his weight gain, so I'd guess he says thanks for being so thoughtful, reducing his photo image by 50%. If only actual dieting were so easy ...

    Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It also helps that I took the photo quite a while ago.

      Delete
  6. By the way I neglected to mention that I now own a highly successful debt reduction service. If you send me 50 billion dollars I will negotiate with your creditors to have your outstanding debt of $200 billion wiped clean. Simply send $50 billion in large bills to Obosanjo Debt Reduction Services, 50 Queen Victoria Boulevard, Lagos, Nigeria 60609. Satisfaction is guaranteed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It takes a master con artist to scam a whole Chicago neighborhood out of its zip code. Congratulations.

      Delete