"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Martha Stewart


Martha strides triumphantly down the sidewalk…


… after dazzling the paparazzi with an impromptu rendition of "I Fell Like A Soufflé," her show-stopping torch song from the new Broadway musical "Heart Crushed In A Garlic Press," starring Martha Stewart, and written by, directed by, and produced by Martha Stewart.

Apparently just being a book author, television personality, lifestyle guru, entrepreneur, and media empire owner left her with free time to fill.

Then she said to the driver as she got into the car, "Your right front tire looks a little soft.  A few shots of aerosol cheese will pump it right up." 

What a woman.


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43 comments:

  1. You left out ex-convict.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Well, I did. I had a whole alternate entry written up about her putting out her arms because she's still in the habit of presenting herself to be frisked, but I decided to go for the more uplifting version, on the off-chance Martha actually sees it. Guess I've now screwed that up.

      Delete

    2. Oh, don't fret about it. Worst thing that can happen is they send you to Camp Cupcake.

      Delete

  2. Didn't she kill a guy? I know I read it somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. If by "guy," you mean a chicken, fish, or turkey, then yes.

      Delete

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