Anderson Cooper

The paparazzo at the top of the frame has made a rookie mistake.

When photographing Anderson Cooper, ALWAYS use a multi-coated polarizing filter, or the extreme whiteness may damage your camera and cause painful eye injury. 

Available at Amazon, Adorama, 47th St. Photo, and wherever fine Anderson Cooper photography supplies are sold.

Chris Hemsworth

Two years ago today, I took my first gum photo that included a celebrity.  You can see the result of that first attempt here.

I've learned a lot in two years.  For example, I try to get the celebrity on the Ed Sullivan Theater side of the street….

…not the problematic far side, where stars sign autographs and pose for photos.

The image of the celebrity is so tiny that I'm forced to provide a close-up…

… which then obligates me, under the FCC's "Equal Time" rule, to provide a close-up of the gum.

And nobody really wants that.

See Chris Hemsworth as Thor in the blockbuster film "The Avengers"!  See the gum in hundreds of blockbuster photos going back to May of 2010!

Lionel Richie

You're once...

Twice...

Three times a subject of photographs also featuring old gum.

And I love you.

The dogs seem unimpressed, though.

Ty Burrell

"Good afternoon, CelebriGum, Steve speaking, can I help you?"

"Hi Steve, this is Ty Burrell.  Do you have a moment to chat?"

"Not really.  I'm busy taking pictures.  I just got you getting out of the car with the phone up to your ear.  What do you need, Ty?"

"I know it's awfully short notice, but I'd love a slightly blurry, grainy shot of me crossing behind the town car to step onto the sidewalk, in addition to the standard shot of posing by the door for the paparazzi.  Is there any way...?"

"I'll see what I can do, Ty.  Gotta go."

CelebriGum comes through in the clutch!  You're welcome, Ty!

From now on, don't call me when I'm working.

Rachel Maddow and Caterpillar 320BL

As a Late Show guest, Rachel Maddow is always entertaining and informative.  And CelebriGum is always glad to have her.  But seeing as this is her fourth CelebriGum appearance, and she's out of focus, this entry really needs something else to make it special.

The Caterpillar 320BL is a different kind of CelebriGum celebrity.  It's a hydraulic excavator with a 389 cubic inch turbocharged six cylinder engine, a 7 foot 8 inch track gauge, and a 9 foot tail swing radius.  And with a maximum bucket capacity of 2 cubic yards, a maximum digging depth of 24 feet 9 inches, and an impressive 42,050 foot pounds of swing torque, there's no question that it's a star worthy of being photographed with the gum.

Great to have you with us, Caterpillar 320BL.  Just try to get this mess cleaned up by Monday afternoon.  Don Rickles is coming, and if he's inconvenienced, he'll fire off some choice insults about your maximum cutting height and your hydraulic pump flow capacity.  

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

What an exciting month for Julia!  

Not only is she starring in the new HBO series "Veep," she was just named one of 2012's Most Beautiful Women by Gum With People Magazine!

Looking good with gum, Julia!  

The May issue of Gum With People Magazine is on newsstands now, tucked way in the back behind popular magazines that people actually buy.

Tall Guys

Average height: 6 feet, 8 and 1/3 inches!

Larry Bird.  6 feet, 9 inches.

Magic Johnson.  6 feet, 9 inches.

Stephen Merchant.  6 feet, 7 inches.

The Broadway show "Magic/Bird/Stephen Merchant," about the friendship between Larry Bird and Magic Johnson which becomes strained by British comedian Stephen Merchant's pointless presence, is playing at the Longacre Theatre.  Visit telecharge.com for tickets, and enter the promotion code "CelebriGum" to enjoy a 20% discount!

Debra Messing

CelebriGum: right in the middle of global politics.

In recent months, embattled French President Nicolas Sarkozy has neglected his re-election campaign and his official duties in favor of jetting over to the U.S. and staring at "Smash" star Debra Messing.  There he is on the upper left.

So far it's just staring.  But understandably, Debra is a little rattled, and she's contacted the French Consulate about it.  Mr. Sarkozy's wife Carla Bruni is also concerned.  And the French voters are clearly losing patience. 

Mr. Sarkozy, if you intend to defeat your moderate Socialist rival Francois Hollande in the May 6th run-off election, you need to focus.  Go home, campaign, and run your country.  Quit lurking around our entertainers and being weird.

That's Radio Man's job.  And my job.
  

Bubba Watson

Bubba Watson arrives at the Late Show, wearing the coveted green jacket he won for developing the double-helix DNA model along with fellow molecular biologist Francis Crick.   

Watson and Crick determined that the DNA molecule is a cross-linked double-stranded helix, each strand being composed of alternating links of phosphate and deoxyribose.  The strands are cross-linked by pairs of purine and pyrimidine bases projecting inward from the deoxyribose sugars and joined by hydrogen bonds with adenine paired with thymine, and cytosine paired with guanine.  Great job, Bubba! 

Hey, everybody, don't forget to vote for CelebriGum in the 2012 Nerd Awards! 

CelebriGum: Turn Off The Dark

CelebriGum, Bono, and The Edge are excited to present the world's first rock musical excuse for using up dark, low-quality wintertime photos of celebrities with an old piece of gum!  

The plot concerns an average guy (Kris Kristofferson) who gains the proportional strength and powers of a different average guy after he's bitten by a non-radioactive fan.  He takes on the new identity of Silver Mane.

Silver Mane has to fight the sinister Dr. Satchel (Bill Maher), who slightly inconveniences people by sort of standing in the way as they try to get to their vehicles.

Silver Mane is joined in the fight by the mysterious Shadow Caster (David Duchovny), who has the power of opacity.

After a great deal of loud music, singing, and people zooming around on wires, the show ends with a guy (Mark Wahlberg) being helped into a car.

Due to technical problems, artistic differences, and a string of unfortunate injuries, "CelebriGum: Turn Off The Dark" will not open.

Ricky Gervais

"Ricky!  Ricky!" onlookers cried.  "Do that funny thing where you launch balls of white-hot energy at the paparazzi!"  

Hilarious!  No wonder Ricky's such a fan favorite.

Martin Short

From evenlessaccuratethanusualwikipedia.org:

Martin Short, real name Ramon Antonio Gerardo Estevez, is an American film actor born August 3rd, 1940.  He is best known for his performances in films such as "Apocalypse Now," "Wall Street," and "The Departed," as well as his starring role in the television series "The West Wing."

That's fascinating.  I wonder what evenlessaccuratethanusualwikipedia.org has to say about CelebriGum?

CelebriGum is a photography project and website run by former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Steve Young.  Young photographs celebrities perched on a window ledge at "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," juxtaposed with an old piece of gum entering and leaving the studio.

Eh, close enough.