"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Thursday, April 19, 2012

CelebriGum: Turn Off The Dark


CelebriGum, Bono, and The Edge are excited to present the world's first rock musical excuse for using up dark, low-quality wintertime photos of celebrities with an old piece of gum!  

The plot concerns an average guy (Kris Kristofferson) who gains the proportional strength and powers of a different average guy after he's bitten by a non-radioactive fan.  He takes on the new identity of Silver Mane.



Silver Mane has to fight the sinister Dr. Satchel (Bill Maher), who slightly inconveniences people by sort of standing in the way as they try to get to their vehicles.



Silver Mane is joined in the fight by the mysterious Shadow Caster (David Duchovny), who has the power of opacity.



After a great deal of loud music, singing, and people zooming around on wires, the show ends with a guy (Mark Wahlberg) being helped into a car.


Due to technical problems, artistic differences, and a string of unfortunate injuries, "CelebriGum: Turn Off The Dark" will not open.

11 comments:

  1. If you had added a bunch of dancing and singing cats I think it would have had a chance. Throw in a haunted chandelier and it would have been Tony material.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We don't have the cats, but I will point out that the gum is now and forever.

      Delete
  2. This post cost $1,000,000,000!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm afraid CelebriGum has had a round of budget cuts and we're making do with less.

      Delete
  3. I think this is why Disney's movie studio chief quit. Well, that and the "John Carter" flop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And the fact that like Donald Duck, he didn't like to wear pants.

      Delete
    2. Since you typed this reply well after midnight your time, I'll assume you're not wearing pants, either.

      Delete
  4. The Toast in the MachineApril 21, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    That photo of Mark Wahlberg is definitely Darky Dark...

    ReplyDelete