"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Jennifer Lawrence


 I recently received this letter:

Steve Young 
CEO, CelebriGum Inc.
The Ed Sullivan Theater, New York
April 2012

Dear Mr. Young,

It has come to the attention of Lionsgate Films and author Suzanne Collins that you are planning to publish on your gum-themed photo website a photo of Jennifer Lawrence, the actress who stars in "The Hunger Games."

Please be advised that you are hereby forbidden to use the pun "The Hunger Gums" on your website.

Not because it would infringe upon any intellectual property rights or otherwise constitute a legal violation, but because it would be cheap and meaningless and not funny.

Best of luck with your project.

Cordially, 
Plerwitz & Gurburling, Attorneys at Law
Culver City, California


Oh yeah?  Hunger Games?  More like Hunger Lames!

Yes!  Nailed it!

17 comments:

  1. This should bring an avalanche of "jokes" from all your accomplished punster followers. Have to leave that to them, as it's just not my thing. Really funny post, already retweeted!

    Jan B.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've got a sweet set-up: disparage puns while getting to use them.

      Delete
    2. As my wife would say, "Comedy gold!"

      That usually indicates that it's not.

      Delete
  2. Here are 5 jokes, some may be funny!

    Hunger Games? More like Bummer Games!
    Hunger Games? More like Hunger Shames!
    Hunger Games? More like Lumber Games! (Lumber like board) (board like bored)
    Hunger Games? More like Dumper Games! (Dumper is slang for butt) (Jennifer Lawrence's butt is the Monopoly of Butts)
    Hunger Games? I'd rather see Jennifer Lawrence in Slumber Party Games 2... Spoiler Alert: Slumber Party Games 1 didn't leave much room for number 2, but I'm sure she can do it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gotta love any joke that comes with an explanation requiring two sets of parentheses.

      Delete
    2. If you put to sets of empty parentheses together they look like a butt. I'll let you test that out.

      Delete
    3. I just tried it and saw the Virgin Mary.

      Delete
  3. Plerwitz & Gurburling, you can send that restraining order to my office. Thanks in advance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of the tiny joys of CelebriGum is causing people to type non-existent names such as Slovmayer, Plerwitz, and Gurburling.

      Delete
    2. I did a Ctrl+C Ctrl+V. No spelling required.

      Delete
    3. Wow, in the time it took me to read a couple of comments, they made Slovmayer a full partner! Thing sure do happen fast there in the big city, I reckon!

      Delete
  4. Congrats on your promotion to CEO! Did you get a raise?

    ReplyDelete
  5. This sounds like one of those fake threatening attorney letters that I sometimes send. In fact you are hereby warned to stop the unauthorized duplication of my fake attorney letters immediately, or face the severest criminal penalties the law provides.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'll take my fake attorney letters from me when you pry them from etc etc.

      Delete
  6. Your cold, dead, writers...... (drat, I just can't think of the word. Will someone give me a hand?)

    ReplyDelete