"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Will Arnett

The results:

The backstory:


"Hello, CelebriGum, Steve speaking."

"Hi, Steve, Larry Shropkin from Elite Preferred Pinnacle Talent."

"Oh, sure. You're Johnny Depp and Mitt Romney's gum agent.  Those gigs turned out nicely.  What can I do for you, Larry?"

"Well, in addition to Johnny and Mitt, I also represent Will Arnett for gum-related appearances.  Will's going to be in town on January 3rd, and he'd love to get on CelebriGum."

"Is Will doing the Late Show that day?"

"No, he just wants to do CelebriGum.  He's a big fan."

"Great.  Now, Will's a funny guy, I love him, but are you sure he's ready for CelebriGum?"

"Absolutely.  He'll get out of the car, he'll walk down the sidewalk, he'll pause by the door for the paparazzi.  He knows exactly what you need."

"January 3rd… let me check my book… well, I've got Lisa Lampinelli on the 3rd, but yeah, I could fit in Will also."

"Fabulous!  He'll be there between 3:50 and 4:15.  I'll call that morning to confirm."

"Fine.  Looking forward to it, Larry.  My best to Will."

"Now, Steve, while I've got you, I also represent Saif Qaddafi.  I know he's gotten a bad rap, but he loves CelebriGum and --"

"Larry, I've got another call."  



  1. The Toast in the MachineJanuary 23, 2012 at 11:29 AM

    Is your book a ledger?

  2. You can't be bothered with all of these gum-related phone calls. You need your own agent now Steve.