"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Ed Helms

For those of you who didn't attend the CBS Upfront event on Wednesday, here's network president Les Moonves' presentation about one of this fall's most anticipated new shows:

"We're excited to announce "Lester & The Lump," a gripping new drama starring Ed Helms from "The Office" and the "Hangover" movies, and co-starring the well-known piece of gum from "CelebriGum."

"Ed plays Lester, an ordinary celebrity who, after hitting his head on a SUV liftgate and suffering a brain injury, is suddenly able to communicate telepathically with an old piece of gum on a window ledge."

"In each episode Lester, with the help of The Lump, has to… ah… solve crimes or something… we haven't quite worked out that part yet."

"But I can tell you that Lester will wear several different shirts in each episode, thanks to a product placement deal with JCPenney's men's department.  Or it may be Banana Republic.  Again, we're still hashing out the details."

""Lester & The Lump": coming to CBS this fall, Wednesdays at 9!  Or possibly Saturdays at 8, or another day.  We'll have it all figured out by September, I promise. Just check your local listings.  Jesus, I need a drink."


  1. Do I have to be a member of my local 6 union in order to check those listings?

    I believe local 6 is a candy makers union, and I consider gum a candy, so this is a pretty funny joke. If it requires searching, and guessing. That's my kind of joke!

    It's almost time to tune into Weekend Late Show!

    1. I think David needs a drink, too.

    2. Or maybe he un-needs a drink.

    3. No more un-drinks please. I owe my local un-bar twelve hundred un-dollars already. It's totally believable, isn't that un-remarkable?

    4. You mean he needs to "un-drink?" Or maybe he should switch to 7-Up, the "un-cola."

      I'm using a lot of "unnecessary parentheses" today.

  2. Now I have the theme song from "Chico and the Man" stuck in my head, only the words "Chico" and "Man" have been replaced with "Lester" and "Lump."

    1. Chicle and the Man, perhaps? It's so close to being satisfyingly meaningful!

    2. So close, yet so far.

    3. Lester, don't be discouraged,
      The Lump he ain't so hard to understand.
      Lester, if you try now,
      I know that you can lend a helping hand.

      Because there's good in everyone
      And a new day has begun
      You can see the morning sun if you try.

      And I know, things will be better
      Oh yes they will for Lester and the Lump
      Yes they will for Lester and the Lump.

    4. I see further problems with this show getting off the ground.

  3. The Toast in the MachineMay 26, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    Again with this old television idea? :(

    I liked this premise better when it was called "Me and the Chimp"...or even "Cagney and Lacey."