Sofia Vergara

A very sexy CelebriGum entry!

Not just because of Sofia.  After months of increasing tension and "will-they-or-won't-they" speculation, two Late Show staffers finally lean in for their magical first kiss.

Wiz Khalifa

I took this photo of rapper Wiz Khalifa on April 11th, 2011.

Puzzled by the mysterious reversed text on Mr. Khalifa's shirt, I submitted the image to a photo backwardization service, Tri-State Photo Backwardization.  "We can backwardize the photo, but it will be very expensive," they warned.  "Also, it may take up to a year."  

"Do it, " I said. "I must find out what his shirt says, no matter the cost or how long the wait."

April 11th, 2012.  I just received the backwardized photo.

Oh, it says "society."  That's interesting, I guess.  Not sure it was worth a year and ten grand. 

Next time maybe I'll see if my photo software has some sort of "reverse image" feature.

Witherspoon Double-Shot

Once I realized I had two Witherspoons, putting them together seemed inevitable. 

This is movie star Reese Witherspoon.

This is comedian and actor John Witherspoon.

The historic Witherspoon Double-Shot almost didn't happen.  I took the Reese photo, but John was snapped by alert Late Show intern Justin Tasolides. 

This is Late Show intern Justin Tasolides.

I considered holding onto Justin's photo until I could pair it up with a picture of someone else with the last name Tasolides, but I decided not to press my luck.

Will Ferrell and More Technical Difficulties

It was the Howard Stern entry all over again.

The first few photos of Will had an odd shadow.  In my haste to get the camera out through the bars of the window, had I knocked another piece of the camera loose? 

Yes, I had.  

Once again, the camera works fine without it.  

I suspect the next hard knock is going to send me camera shopping, but still, you have to admire a camera that can take such nice photos of pieces it's shed. 

Meanwhile, as the rest of the world slowly falls apart, the gum abides.

Alec Baldwin

The day before Alec's appearance, I was contacted by a Late Show producer who told me that Alec had read the New York Times piece about CelebriGum and wanted to get a copy of the photo of himself, Dave, and Joe Namath.

How thrilling that one of my subjects was charmed by CelebriGum and wanted a photo!  I printed out a nice 8 x 10 and passed it along.

So when he arrived, I wondered: would he look up?

Nope.  

I'm sure it's not because CelebriGum slipped his mind.  It's because Alec is firmly in the camp of "to demonstrate awareness of the CelebriGum process would be to destroy its delicate artistic equilibrium," to quote myself as I typed just now.  

It's a solid philosophical stance, Alec, and I respect you for it.

Jennifer Lawrence

 I recently received this letter:

Steve Young 

CEO, CelebriGum Inc.

The Ed Sullivan Theater, New York

April 2012

Dear Mr. Young,

It has come to the attention of Lionsgate Films and author Suzanne Collins that you are planning to publish on your gum-themed photo website a photo of Jennifer Lawrence, the actress who stars in "The Hunger Games."

Please be advised that you are hereby forbidden to use the pun "The Hunger Gums" on your website.

Not because it would infringe upon any intellectual property rights or otherwise constitute a legal violation, but because it would be cheap and meaningless and not funny.

Best of luck with your project.

Cordially, 

Plerwitz & Gurburling, Attorneys at Law

Culver City, California

Oh yeah?  Hunger Games?  More like Hunger Lames!

Yes!  Nailed it!

Keith Olbermann

Keith, I'm very sorry to have to tell you this.

Al Gore just called to inform me that you're being replaced in this CelebriGum entry.

Best wishes, Keith.  I'm sure you'll land on your feet at some other gum and celebrity photo site.

Programming note!  Watch Keith Olbermann Tuesday night on the Late Show!  No doubt he'll have a lot to say!

Kristen Wiig

Remember the old Trident ads which claimed that "Four out of five dentists surveyed recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum"?  

CelebriGum is thrilled to introduce a special guest columnist: the mysterious fifth dentist!

"Thank you for inviting me to be a guest columnist.  Please understand that I can't reveal my name or location.  Ever since the gum recommendation fiasco of the 1960's, I've been in hiding."

"Everyone assumes I cynically recommended gum with sugar so I could get more business filling cavities.  Not true.  I simply thought sugarless gum was too new for its relative merits to be known, so I wasn't ready to recommend it.  But nobody wanted to hear that; I was now "the evil dentist," and colleagues and patients shunned me.  Then I started receiving threats from Trident's goons.  Thank God for the American Dental Association's Witness Protection Program.  I was able to resettle my family in a different city and start a new practice, once my plastic surgery was completed."  

"As for your Kristen Wiig photograph, it's nice, I suppose.  I heard she was good in that "Wedding Ladies" movie.  I don't really get the whole gum and celebrity concept, but if it makes you happy, great."

"Not that it matters now, but yeah, sugarless gum is fine.  Go nuts, chew it 24/7.  I don't care anymore.  Though I do encourage you to floss."

"Now if you'll excuse me, the new issue of "Modern Endodontics" just arrived and I want to see if they published my poem.  Again, thank you for inviting me."


I was hoping the column would be more about the photo of Kristen Wiig with the gum, but still, a fascinating glimpse of a pivotal 20th century figure.  No promises on the flossing.

Joan Rivers

A close call for stagehand Tommy O'Brien, in the gray Late Show jacket.

As he told me later, "That morning I was this close to wearing the exact same white fur coat!  How embarrassing would that have been?  OMG, my stagehand friends would've, like, never let me forget it!"

And I was all, like, "Whatevs."

This concludes CelebriGum's Awkwardly Trying To Appeal To Teenagers Edition, featuring teen favorite Joan Rivers.  Stay in school, kids!

Matthew Broderick and Bonus Celebrity

Two celebrities in one shot!

There's Matthew Broderick, eternally boyish star of stage and screen.

And of course on the right is Arthur Slovmayer, world-famous founder of Slovmayer Novelties, maker of the wildly popular hat and fake beard combo that put the classic fake nose and glasses out of business.  

When Matthew heard that Arthur was going to be on the Late Show, he loitered on 53rd Street in hopes of greeting his idol.  This photo, taken seconds after they met, shows Matthew excitedly describing the encounter to a fellow Slov-head as Slovmayer graciously gives an autograph to another fan.

Maybe someday Matthew will be big enough to merit his very own entry.

Jon Hamm

"Mad Men" season 5 spoiler alert!

Don Draper arrives at the headquarters of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce's new client, Consolidated Orange Cone, to pitch ideas for an upcoming ad campaign.

As he heads in to the meeting, Don is suddenly plagued by misgivings about the proposed slogans:

"Orange You Glad You Went With Consolidated?"

"You'd Have To Have A Heart Of Stone Not To Love An Orange Cone!"

"The Hip Cone With The Now Kind Of Youthful Vibe For Today's With-It Roads"

"Think Of Them As The Hats Of Kooky Witches Who Promote Traffic Safety"

The presentation goes poorly and Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce loses the account.  However, Don gets the last laugh, as orange road cones fail to catch on as a consumer item and Consolidated Orange Cone is bought out by National Pointy.

First Lady Michelle Obama, Sort Of

The First Lady!  What a feather she would be in CelebriGum's sooty gray cap!  But by the time I got over to the theater, she had already arrived.  Late Show security told me I might be able to take pictures later as she left, but that I shouldn't open the window.

I was wanded, as was everyone else going in.  Even intern and occasional CelebriGum guest photographer Justin Tasolides wasn't exempt.

As the First Lady's final segment was ending, I returned to the theater.  A large crowd had gathered on 53rd Street.

I mentioned my plan to photograph the First Lady to one Secret Service agent, and got the okay.  But a moment after I took the photo below, the man by the front of the diagonally-parked SUV saw me and glared.  I displayed my harmless little camera and smiled hopefully, but he apparently was not a CelebriGum fan.  He vigorously gestured for me to move away from the window.  

I decided CelebriGum wasn't worth dying for.  I complied.

Shortly thereafter, I heard cheers as Michelle Obama came out.  I boldly took a photo of her SUV as it pulled away.

Due to these extraordinary circumstances, CelebriGum is forced to present this simulation of the First Lady with the gum.

My apologies to Michelle Obama, the President, and the entire Obama family.  Also to the Chevrolet division of General Motors.