"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Don Rickles

 Congratulations, Don!  Another milestone in a long and legendary career!

The official representative from Guinness World Records (in the gray suit) witnessed Don's walk from the stage door to the car.  In just 56 seconds and 17 feet, Don set a new world record for freestyle insulting.

Here are just a few of the targets Don's sarcastic barbs were directed at:

--umbrellas with corporate logos on them
--metal crowd control barriers
--the Mercedes Benz corporation
--car doors 
--car door hinges
--umbrellas with no corporate logos on them
--the Guinness World Records organization
--expansion joints in concrete sidewalks
--people with cheap little snapshot cameras
--people with large, expensive professional cameras
--stage doors
--stage doors' automatic closing mechanisms
--oxygen molecules
--nitrogen molecules
--carbon dioxide molecules
--sound waves
--visible light waves
--infrared light waves
--people who don't tuck in their shirts

And that's just a small sampling.  What a stunning performance.

Don had nothing bad to say about CelebriGum, though!  Whew!


  1. But Don said nothing about the unattended Victoria's Secret bag on the barrier? If you see something, say something.

    1. He rolled his eyes theatrically but didn't say anything, so it didn't get counted in the "official" tally.

    2. I considered the possibility that it might have been his bag. Mother always told me to wear pretty underwear in case I ever had to drop my pants and fire a rocket.

    3. Good to know. Though it occurs to me, maybe we should update the phrase to "drop my pants and launch a drone."

  2. Perfect to post during the Stanley Cup, given Mr. Rickles's penchant for addressing us individually and collectively as hockey puck[s]. Excellent timing, CelebriGum! And go, Blackhawks!!

    Jan B.

    1. Uh... yeah! Yeah, that's exactly the clever reference I was going for!

  3. That last photo looks like a bunch of guys are trying to set a new Guinness world record for most bald guys crammed into a limo.