Cate Blanchett

 What a remarkable woman!  Cate appeared on the Late Show on Monday, July 22nd…

…just hours after giving birth to the Royal Baby, her infant son who's 3rd in line to the throne!  That's professionalism!

I don't know how she did it.  Even if the Concorde were still flying, that would be cutting it awfully close, and for someone in her condition to --

-- hold on, my phone's ringing --

****************

What an honor.  I've just been called "an insufferable Yank bonehead" by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

Anyway, mazel tov to Her Majesty and the rest of the family, including whoever the hell it was that just gave birth.

Liev Schreiber

Liev visited the Late Show to promote his new Showtime drama series, "Ray Donovan."

His character Ray is a "fixer" for a powerful Los Angeles law firm.  Ray makes the problems of the city's powerful celebrities, superstar athletes, and business moguls disappear…

(cue music)

…thanks to his brilliantly choreographed dance numbers.

Apparently you can get away with that avant-garde stuff on premium cable.

(music stops)

Good luck with the show, Liev, you dancin' fool.

Jeff Daniels

It's very hot in New York.  Everyone's lethargic.  I don't have the physical or mental energy to write a clever entry, so instead I'm going to shoddily construct one for Emmy minee Jeff Daniels using phrases borrowed from old entries.

"Exciting: big time celebrity" "plays a" "respected newsman" "looking crisp and natty in the heat" "strides triumphantly down the sidewalk" 

(For those interested in cross-checking, those phrases are from the following entries: John Travolta, Nathan Lane, Tom Brokaw, Bill O'Reilly, Martha Stewart)

"drawn ever deeper into a labyrinth of sinister intrigue" "unexpected detour" "choice excepts from spring 1922 issues of "The American Hatter""

(phrases from the Nathan Lane and Steve Martin entries)

So apparently I've blundered into offering more excerpts from spring 1922 issues of "The American Hatter."  Very well.

Maybe it's the heat, but I don't understand my own website anymore.

Bruce Willis, and an Exciting Interruption

 Another big time movie star on CelebriGum!  

Not only did I get Bruce Willis, but I also got Bruce's reflection in the --

Woof!  Woof!

What's that?

Woof woof!  Woof woof woof!

Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt the Bruce Willis entry to bring you an annual Late Show tradition: Dock Diving Dogs!

The dogs charge off the end of the dock and out over the water, trying to catch items tossed by their owners.  The dog with the longest jump is the winner.

It's challenging to photograph, assuming you also want to have the gum in the picture.

 

Note the orange object in mid-air that the dog focuses on.

 In flight...

... and splashdown.

Good doggy!

Sorry, Bruce.  Even a movie star has a tough time competing with dogs.

Zooey Deschanel

Zooey Deschanel is the star of "New Girl," a situation comedy on Fox that will begin its third season in September.

For how many seasons can she be the "New Girl?"  At what point will her newness have worn off, leaving her and the show just "A Girl"?

It's not a rhetorical question; I'm genuinely curious.  So I did some research on bullshitopedia.org, and learned the following:

"Though the Marlo Thomas situation comedy which ran from 1966 to 1971 is now commonly referred to as "That Girl," that title technically applies only to seasons four and five. During seasons one, two, and three, the program was titled "New Girl," after which her character was judged no longer new enough to warrant the original title. In syndication and subsequent rebroadcasts and home video releases, the earlier seasons were retrofitted with the updated title."

Wow, good to know.  Something to think about, Zooey.

Remember, bullshitopedia.org does not accept advertising.  It is special and pure.  Won't you help bullshitopedia.org fulfill its high-minded mission of spreading bullshit by donating just $20?  Send your donation (cash preferred) to Steve Young care of CelebriGum, and I'll make sure they get it. 

Adam Sandler

There's Adam.  But let's see if I can get his face when he comes back from greeting fans across the street.

Better -- but, whoah!  Nearly lost the gum!  Hope that little sliver of gum qualifies!

 There's the gum.  

Everything's fine.

But frankly, I feel badly about that gum mishap.  Let me make it up to you with a special bonus element: Jimmy the Late Show security guy bouncing a tennis ball.

We cool?  Good.

Salma Hayek

Mexican-born Salma Hayek has Lebanese and Spanish ancestry.  Her first name is an Arabic name, meaning "peace" or "calm."

Okay, fellas, Salma down.

Martha Stewart

Martha strides triumphantly down the sidewalk…

… after dazzling the paparazzi with an impromptu rendition of "I Fell Like A Soufflé," her show-stopping torch song from the new Broadway musical "Heart Crushed In A Garlic Press," starring Martha Stewart, and written by, directed by, and produced by Martha Stewart.

Apparently just being a book author, television personality, lifestyle guru, entrepreneur, and media empire owner left her with free time to fill.

Then she said to the driver as she got into the car, "Your right front tire looks a little soft.  A few shots of aerosol cheese will pump it right up." 

What a woman.

Bill O'Reilly

A nice gum photo of Bill, looking crisp and natty in the heat, as he heads into the Ed Sullivan Theater for…

Hold on, something's not right.

Is it just me, or is the gum looking a little more depressed than usual?

I know what this is about.  The gum is pissed off that it's stuck in midtown Manhattan for another hot, stinking summer, while its cousin is on vacation in the Grand Tetons.

Yeah, it doesn't seem fair.

But Bill's tie almost matches the color of the sky over Cascade Canyon.  That's something.

(FanGum photo credit: Marilyn Sargent.  Thanks for despoiling our magnificent wilderness, Marilyn!) 

Melissa McCarthy

Melissa McCarthy is currently starring in the hit film "The Heat."

"The Heat" is playing in air conditioned theaters, which is important when much of the country is experiencing temperatures in the 90's.  The heat is helping "The Heat."

Thank God there's someplace comfortable for folks to spend a couple hours.

Due to budget cuts, New York's municipal Cooling Centers ain't what they used to be.

The Backstreet Boys

 The Backstreet Boys pose for the paparazzi before…

…jumping into the Mystery Machine and hurrying off to solve another mystery!

Tonight's episode: Haunted House Hassle!

When the Mystery Machine breaks down in front of a spooky old mansion, Nick, AJ, Kevin, Howie and Brian go inside and encounter a frightening ghost.  But further investigation reveals that all is not as it seems.  The ghost is really the old caretaker, who's really the abominable snowman, who's really a crooked real estate developer, who's really a witch doctor, who's really a slightly less crooked real estate developer who engages in business practices which, while not strictly illegal, are unethical and violate his professional code of conduct.  When the villain kidnaps the Backstreet Boys, can their trusty dog Dooby-Scoo save the day?

(I guess there should be a dog photo.  Let me check my files.)

Fine, sure, that'll do.  That's Dooby-Scoo.  Go get 'em, Dooby-Scoo!

"The Backstreet Boys Mysteries" -- premiering this fall on Saturday mornings, only on CBS!

Note to Hanna-Barbera lawyers: please send all correspondence regarding copyright infringement litigation to idontgiveadamn@celebrigum.com, which will be returned as undeliverable.

Jamie Foxx

"Mr. Foxx!  Over here, Mr. Foxx!  Could you pose for a couple of photos?"

"Absolutely, girls.  Glad to oblige."

"Oh, this is great!  Now, my twin sister -- "

"Sure, grab the camera and I'll pose with her and you can take the picture."

"Actually, what we really want is to run inside for just a minute and trade clothes, and then we'll come out and my sister will take basically the same photo of me, but this time I'll be wearing her clothes."

"Uh… even her sandals?"

"Yeah!  Even her sandals!  It'll be awesome, I promise!"

"Well, okay.  But hurry up."

One minute later:

"Thanks, Mr. Foxx!"  

"Yeah, thanks!  We both really appreciate it!"

"Sure."

"Weirdos."