"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Minka Kelly


In addition to presenting this photo, I'd like to share with CelebriGum fans an interesting letter I recently received:

TO: Steve Young, CelebriGum Founder & CEO

FROM: Cyrus Vance, Jr., Manhattan District Attorney

Dear Mr. Young:

I am pleased to announce the conviction of the notorious 53rd Street Stepstool Bandit, thanks in large part to your crucial photographic evidence.

As you know, in recent years this criminal genius relied upon a simple but effective strategy: while onlookers were distracted by the presence of a celebrity outside the Late Show, he brazenly entered area homes and businesses and stole stepstools.  He made his getaways in plain sight, guessing correctly that nobody would notice him while a glamorous film or television star was nearby.

Your unusual photograph was the break we were looking for.  With an image of the thief, plus profiling information from the FBI, we were able to apprehend a suspect, who has since pleaded guilty.  Unfortunately, most of the hundreds of stepstools he stole over the years are now in the hands of foreign collectors and are unlikely to be recovered.  But we can all rest easier knowing that this monster will no longer prey upon the honest citizens of midtown.

Sincere thanks to you for your help, and you are now free to post the evidence photo since the case is closed.  I and my colleagues in the DA's office very much enjoy your whimsical website.  The gum is awesome!  Looking forward to the Johnny Depp entry!




6 comments:

  1. I have nothing further to add, your honor.

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  2. Crap, now where am I going to get my stepstools? Maybe I'll find a way to illegal download them.

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  3. 1. I wouldn't give the Stepstool Bandit's prison sentence to a monkey on a rock. Thanks for making life better in NYC.

    2. Hey, Steve, have you considered trying to catch your reflection on the limo roofs in your photos? I was standing on my head a minute ago, looking for you. Your pal, DDY.

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  4. "Whimsical website" my arse. This has the makings of "Rear Window" on 53rd Street. Who knows what scenes of crime and vice Steve may catch from his lofty perch? We can only hope that the criminal element doesn't become aware of Steve's presence and seek to eke out their revenge. I suggest we take up a fund to ensure Steve's safety.

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