"A perfectly silly, genius idea" -- David Letterman

Monday, August 20, 2012

Denis Leary and the CelebriGum Poetry Slam

It's the first-ever CelebriGum Poetry Slam!  Here's the photo of Denis Leary that served as a jumping off point, followed by the poems it inspired.

gray weathered decayed 
old gum on the ledge awaits
posing yet unseen
--Bonnie Greenberg

Denis Leary & a lump of gum.
One a comic and the other mum.
An Irish gent walks the street
While the gum remains so discreet.

                       --Catherine Huggins

Exited the star of Rescue Me I said,
While on brick of red viewed by gum that's dead.
The entrance classy, and light a glow,
Too bad the cops told his Lincoln was towed.
--Denis Prior

Who are you, Denis Leary?
A dapper dancer from Stomp?
An Irish gigolo?
A firefighter?
Who are you, Denis Leary?
A chauffeur with a Lincoln Navigator?
A ginger streetwalker on 53rd Street?
A hockey player?
Who are you Denis Leary?
A chain smoking, edgy, comedian?
A maitre'd at (insert newest trendy NYC restaurant)?
A doctor?
Who are you Denis Leary?
The world awaits an answer.

                        --Tracy Austin

Denis Leary & Gum

Denis Leary walks to the Late Show
In the only way he know...

A former writing teacher
Never a preacher
But often wears sneaker...

The gum sits on the window sill
Doing what it does to pay the bill...

Together they make
The internet cake
That is celebrigum.com great...

Sorry the ending suck...

                           --David Kazmierski

The rarified air of CelebriGum 
Sometime includes the view of a bum
The solidified stature that is held in place
Makes it ever so difficult to avert said face
Whoa it be for that once loved treat
The constant parade of famous deadbeat
Would make lesser icons sad and weary
Taxing the limit is chewed Denis Leary.

Not that there is anything wrong with Mr Leary
He is but a victim of boredom and dreary.
                       --Kath Creel

old gum on a ledge
contemplating suicide
"rescue me, leary!"

a blur on a ledge
denis leary chewing gum
is this anything?

                       --Cheryl Levenbrown

Denis Leary is grabbing his abdomen,
perhaps he has a stone,
or swallowed some filthy old gum,
that's hardened like a bone.

                         --Jason White

Rescue Me -- A Ghazal

Reflections of power make ghosts stand still
The headless beast in the street cannot cry, ‘Rescue Me.’

A man holds his waist, his jacket a cape
Hair ablaze in the shade, he whispers, ‘Rescue Me.’

The chew cannot move, its hardened frame still
On the edge of a ledge it hums, ‘Rescue Me.’

An actor, a fake; no poetry can save
One foot in the fame, credits roll, 'Rescue Me.’

A wad of perfect waste no god could remove
Divine is its prayer, incomplete, ‘Rescue Me.’

                           --Shannon Mariama Houston

Well-meaning Denis Leary.
Not knowing what is near, he
Saunters to his SUV.
Above, the old gum weary,
Too dried up to be teary,
Cries in silence "Rescue me!"


  1. David Kazmierski is a poetic genius.

    1. I agree. He seems to have invented a bold new form there.

    2. Thanks for the kind words. My poetry teacher would be proud... If I remembered her name.

  2. Steve, how does your story end? Does he rescue the gum?

  3. Staring at the screen with eyes so bleary
    Leery of gum
    Leery of Leary

    1. Wow! And he's not even Canadian!

    2. He plays hockey! Close enough.

  4. Whoever said Gum Based poetry was dead clearly was stoned.

  5. The Toast in the MachineAugust 22, 2012 at 7:08 PM

    These entries are all made of pure win. Absolutely fantastic! But I vote David Kazmierski as top dog in this competition... Well done, everyone!

  6. تعتبر مؤسسة مكافحة النمل الأبيض باابو عريش ما أقدم المؤسسات العاملة في ميدان مكافحة النمل الأبيض والذي يُعد من أخطر أشكال الحشرات، والذي يحاول أن تخويف منازلنا وأساساتنا بالانهيار على النطاق البعيد فهي حشرة تقطن تحت أثاثات البيوت بأحجام عظيمة.
    شركة مكافحة حشرات بسكاكا
    شركة رش مبيدات بسكاكا
    المبيدات الحشرية الكيميائية
    افضل شركة مكافحة حشرات